Why you (yes YOU) should vote team past

Happy grandfest! As voting for this very important splatfest begins, some of you might not know what team to pick. This is why I think you ought to pick team past

• Callie and Marie are pretty
• Red and black is a killer color combo
• The 90s, 2000s, and 2010s were all awesome! the 2020s so far have sucked
• The past is certain, we don't know what happens in the future and you need to make a lot of decisions now
• Splatoon 1 was special
• The modern internet sucks
• The future internet is a corporate hellscape filled with ai and ads
• everything is so flat and ugly today, the past had character