tw ,just a rant abt my ed

i feel myself actually rotting and eroding, some days I don't feel really anything, I feel content, and calm (?) and mostly sleepy, like right now, I feel okay, but I know when its time for me to sleep I wont be able to, ed insomnia is no joke xD, I'm just so hungry, it feels pathetic, family says I have will power, mom is jealous and is starting a crap diet, that's what everyone thinks this is, a diet, its not, a diet is a choice, I'm not choosing this, or am i