Hello I am back

For those who are interested to know my whereabouts and for those who are just passing by, Hello! How have you guys been? I wasnt really active in my spacehey due to a lot of personal matters in my life one of them being like a fever dream. My country had been suppressed by the same ruling party for 15 years. May not be a long time but the suffering made it feel like decades. So in recent months my people to be precise the students of our country revolting against our government it was many months of bloodshed many died and even after all that hardship we were able to do something our older generations could not. We caused a revolution. The ruling party eventually due to the great back lash and revolting of the people resigned and dissolved. Many of the MPS alongside the Prime Minister fled the country as the people in my country cheered the great victory. Sure after that a lot of criminal activities and risen but only for a few days as the current state is much better than before we are now a unitary state and following the parliamentary republic system. We've seen better days which we havent for the longest of time. I am thankful to life for such a great event to happen and I am thankful to be a part of it. I know suppression has not only been in our country as it may be far worse in others. I hope the people of such country dont loose hope. I know the situation is terrible and you may think that it wont change. But with a bit of determination and with unity everything is possible. 

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Well other than that! Me myself has been well feeling strange these past few days. I am having this thing where I feel well neutral of all emotions I am not too happy nor too sad nor too upset or too excited and you get the gist. I feel meh I dont know why even during times where I am supposed to be upset. It does not happen. I am in a relationship right now and I am flooded with guilt and self loathing, my lover is a great person. But I distance myself I dont know why but I prefer solitary. This has caused them to doubt me say I might be cheating and they have been terribly upset as they told me they have been crying almost everyday due to my distance and not being online for awhile. Which is true I've been away for social media almost everyday half a month as I feel discomfort engaging in conversations and the worst part being when my partner tells me how upset they are with me I dont know how to comfort them or feel well sad about it and I hate myself for it I love them or do I? I have no clue and now I am thinking perhaps I should separate myself from them. For the better or for the worse. It is healthier and I want both of us the be healthy and happy. May things go well.