insufferable mother moment (bigotry on identity)

so earlier today i told my mother that i, teddy, would appreciate it if she would respect me and my identity. she has been aware of me being queer since the 5th grade, my pronoun change since freshman year ( she still believes im going by they/them el oh fucking el) ,  my name change since junior year. i gave her a very lengthy text basically saying that if she can't respect me, she will lose a child and i will ignore her. she says she doesn't understand or she's confused and i understand where she is coming from but that is not an excuse to say that my name is a "no-go" and then say it's a "masculine name" when in actuality, it's not. she has a nickname for her full gov and even that nickname can be considered a "masculine" name and she blames it on ppl not knowing how to say her name... people didn't know how to say my dead name and even my deadname shortened is a "masculine" name. i even told her the reason why i don't like it because it originates from someone i don't want to have any ties with and it frustrates me knowing my deadname is the middle name of my mother and a man who i dream about beating to a pulp... 

she said and i quote "teddy makes me feel like im talking to a completely different person" (mind you we look and act just alike so idk how a singular name can do that...). she also said "we associate peoples names and identities. so for me i have to create a whole new identity for you by constantly saying that name"... now this is the part where i bash my head into a wall because:

1: who said u had to do allat?

2: you're literally my fucking mother who claims to be supportive but is going out of her way to be ignorant and not just say "ok yea i'll love you no matter what, you are my son"

i asked two things from her, mind you, i don't ask for shit. and she wants me to respect her? FAWK NO twin that's not how this works. 

now this part blows me every time because guess how many times i've heard from her "ok, i will work on it" after literally giving her solutions to every problem/excuse she tried making for it.

i know that it's not the name that upsets her. she wants a girl. and unfortunately twin.. that's not me so either claim your first (now second in a way) or don't talk to me. i have blocked her on my imsg because i am old enough to not tolerate bigotry and disrespect from ANYONE, never cared if it's family or not. once you break a boundary you are no longer important to me. all of the love i once had is no longer there. she can grieve however she wants but i am not changing for her to be satisfied, it's not about her and will never be about her. 

but yea, thank you for listening to my ted talk, literally. * ba-dum-tss*