just complete emotional rampage here

Life just suxsss SO bad. I don't wanna die, I just don't wanna live, there's a difference!! Lifes meaning, purpose, reason whatevs you wanna call it is love, to love, to have a passion. I don't love. I don't have a passion, I have nothing. If nothings there what's the reason to live!! Nothing, ab-so-lu-tely NOTHING. I draw because I CAN draw not because I like it. I read and write in english because I CAN, not because I like it. No passion for nothing, no love left for friends or family, my lifes LITERALLY meaningless, nothing and no one holding me here, I despise it. I WANNA feel love, I want the warmth, the sweetness the everything else and not just hate and judge everyone like I usually do!!! Argh what the hell, this is bullshit