and i am left to rot

"sleep, cut me down again"

"im losing what's left of my dignity, but i'll fight till the end for her heart"

i wish so bad for the winter to consume me

left to sink into the dirty earth and yearn for my heart
and leaving me to rest with your dying memory

i wish to be in and of nature, i'd use to hope she would take me
sitting there, on my knees. head pushing towards the force beneath humanity, to the frozen depths of where i will die

i feel i am a disgrace to nature. i believe im one with the trees and the grass and the everlasting animals i love so much.
but that is not true
i am human, and that is death
there will always be that part to tell you

that lives in souls,
tearing them out and shedding the blood
only to drink up once the eyes sink in.

i am pure, i wish to be what i think is beautiful
but with writing like this, i feel i will ruin it the second i exist inside.
but i need it
and i will be here
waiting for it as my body slips off and morphs into everything nothing and whatever

im sorry
im sorry that i am this way
but this is my blood, and i wish it wasn't.
this is part of me and i hate that it is

i miss her, little girl who saw the trees
my suffering ruined the only part of me that was supposed to be
but i belive i am good and kind
these are the things that aren't meant to be of knowledge to others
it only kills how they see you
now they say you're weird and gross
only my heart knows what i am and why
because i can't be seen with my body and this wretched mind
i'm only deteriorating with lives that aren't mine, eating at my thoughts for whatever reason
i will get rid of it, i hope.
it will reach me, it will comfort me to be consumed by the loving air
and i wish i was there
left to watch