blog #2

i simply want to burrow myself in a cocoon, have everyone forget about my existence, and stay like that for a million years. maybe then, life will be better. but until then, i suffer. i suffer with the knowledge that after 80 years, i will be a pile of bones in a casket. maybe even 6 feet under the ground. and i'm scared that no one will remember me. i fear to be like me, walking by a gravestone, not knowing who is lying underneath the soil and who they once were. legacy. i'm scared to be well-known, where anyone can have a bad opinion of me or where anyone can devise a plan to take me out of this world. i fear to stagnate, never accomplishing anything in this short and insignificant life. cause if not me, who else? i can't just wait around all day and hope the next person will end up finishing a task, or for the next person to start a revolution. things like that start with 1 person who will not procrastinate and who will take the leap of faith knowing that they may not succeed and will end up being a nobody, just as they started. but knowing you tried is more than enough, isn't it? i hope.

"damage damages the damage, an endless cycle of torment" — Xie 2024