26-08-24

I woke up early today, and everything went downhill from there. In the morning, I was motivated, thinking today was going to be a good day, but I was wrong. I was all hyped up, thinking I was going to start a diet, but then my anxiety kicked in and, bam, I started binge-eating. What is wrong with me? Ugh!

I know it's not the end of the world and it's not a big deal, but I can't help but cry about it.

Yesterday wasn't good either. I had a date and was excited about it, but a few moments before leaving, I got that feeling in my stomach—like I wanted to puke, and my heart started racing. When I feel that way, it usually means I'm going to cry or hyperventilate, so I took a pill for emergencies like this. At the date, I started falling asleep because of the pills. I felt like everyone in the park was staring at me like I was a monster. I know I'm not great, but did they have to stare so much? It bothers me.

Every day, I'm more convinced that I'm a monster, a zombie.