Vocal Rest and lamenting my crunchy bones

       I've been Vtubing for 2 years and it's genuinely the one thing in my life that I've been consistent with besides D&D. I started out with theatre when I was in school and streaming was a natural progression for me. It's something that fills me with passion and that I actually want to be good at. And sometimes I think that passion makes me forget that my body has limitations.

A month ago I did a subathon for my birthday and blew my voice out. It hasn't gotten better since. If I had taken time off immediately after, I think I would have healed up - but I kept pushing through because I was afraid to stop my momentum.

Bad choice.

I was planning on taking a break in September to get myself back on track. Then yesterday my voice hit a new low where I could barely speak.

That was the breaking point. And now I have to take a week off. Which is kind of my nightmare, because I'm afraid of being away from something too long - like I'll forget it exists and lose all my progress.

I have conditions that make it impossible for me to perform content creation the way I want. Physically and mentally. I know it will help me grow, but I'm limited by my body and it's incredibly frustrating. To have big ideas swimming around in your head but nowhere to put them.
=             

But I think I need to be kind to myself. I may be growing slower than others, but I'm still growing. And the people who watch me are kind and supportive and understand me well. One day I'll be able to make my big ideas real.