My Experience with abuse.

When I was younger, more specifically a teenager, I was abused for several years by my step grandmother.

My hopes by sharing these experiences are for people to better understand the kind of life I lived and to hopefully avoid the same mistakes I made years ago.

Long story short, my parents separated in 2013 and gave custody of my siblings and I to my grandparents.

My step grandmother, Sharon, married into the family and at first she seemed like the beacon of light we needed.

She provided structure and organization in our lives and we were making great progress in our lives.

One thing I took note of, was her flawed way of thinking. This woman literally the embodiment of fire and brimstone.

What does that mean, basically the world is an evil place to live in. And we as Christians should isolate ourselves from the world.

If that sounds crazy, it's because it is. If I had to describe her belief systems, I'd say the Salem witch trials best reflect her style of thinking.

Sharon believed since the world was an evil place to live in, there had to be a driving force behind all the bad behaviors.

She concluded that the root cause of these things had to be demons.

I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She believed the world was full of people possessed by demons.

That sicknesses and diseases were caused from demons. That wars and conflicts were caused by people possessed by demons.

The sad part is that she wasn't the only one that believed in these delusions.

There was an entire community of people that believed in these same things.

Most of them were older women if I recall correctly.

Not only that, but they were guilty of passing on these belief systems to their children and grandchildren.

This church went by the name of new creation ministries. Some of the beliefs that they held outside of the demon thing included speaking in tongues.

From what I could tell these people genuinely believed they were speaking an ancient language.  

The guy in charge of the church, was an ex-police officer named Dale. Dale was a blunt guy. If you weren't paying attention during service, you got yelled at.

My first interaction with Dale was when I was experiencing one of my chronic migraines. I was allowed to skip service and rest on the sofa in the living room area.

He walked up to me and put his hand over my forehead and started speaking in tongues.

It didn't make my migraine feel any better in case you were wondering.

Some rules we had to follow included the following: we weren't allowed to indulge in worldly temptations, we were only allowed to listen to Christain music, We couldn't swear, We weren't allowed to be in a relationship and we had to work in order to eat.

If they felt like I wasn't putting enough effort into labor, then I would go without food.

Besides that, if I fell asleep in the vehicles I was expected to walk home. Like they would literally kick me out of the vehicle.

Besides all of this madness, Sharon would harass me once I started misbehaving. I was kicked, pushed and even hit with a cast iron skillet which knocked me out.

She turned most of my teachers against me, she was great at manipulating me and spinning a story that painted me in a negative light.

All but one anyhow, thanks Mr Baker for sticking by me. She even manipulated our doctors and fired one because Dr Frankling told us we didn't have to have her in the room during our visits.

She guilt tripped us into not revealing our secret lives to our doctors. This is because doctors just wouldn't understand the Christian way of living.

She also told us life would be hell and ten times worse if we blabbed about her misdeeds.

So, that brings me to today. Today I indulge in worldly interests. I love rock music, play Yugioh and other fantasy games and have a place to eat every night of my life.

I also have my own mattress and game systems I play for fun.

So why am I sharing this? I wanted to illustrate that in you find yourself in a cycle of abuse it's always best to tell someone.

You might think that life will only get worse if you do, but the important thing is to let your voice be heard.

Narcissists thrive on silencing you, don't let them silence you. Let your voice be heard and tell a trusted adult about any issues you might be having.

Tell a friend, tell a family member or someone you trust. You don't have to subject yourself to that torture everyday.

Lastly don't feel obligated to forgive those people. Forgiveness is a choice you have to make. It's up to you to decide whether you want to go that route or not.

Just my two Am thoughts, but yeah that was my life from 2013 to 2017.