This is a vent btw

I feel like that again

I do know why and I think that’s the worst part

when I started going to the doctor and taking meds and stuff

it was like a really slow process but eventually I felt better honestly

I’m fully convinced that this is just a downtime a bad time idk

it’ll get better, I know that, the fact that I’m still hopeful probably means something

still

a lot of stuff out of my control has happened lately

and while I did my best to feel better, that was just with the stuff I COULD control

now I’m faced with this unpredictability that I’ve always hated

maybe that’s why I used to be so closed off with people

their feelings and actions are too much

the simple fact that I’m perceived by them is too much

I’m not lonely, I have friends, still I just feel like something IS wrong

I know anxiety can trick me but still I know something is up

I feel that my limbs are tightening

my body is heavy

I want to puke

And my heart is racing

I hope I can fix this

Even if is not up to me in some aspects