Diary #2: random rants

8/25/24

yeah. im back again. my lifes a mess right now, its really just me sleeping, m@stvrbat!ng, using spacehey and playing games. its not even fun anymore lmao. sometimes i want to go to school to escape home but i also wanna go home to escape school. it feels like i dont belong iin the real world. im glad i found spacehey, all people here are so cool! i wish i would meet more, im really inside this website 24/7 lololol.

sometimes i wish i have an emo bf. in my country theyre just bunch of teenage failures lmfao. like, i seriously hate guys here in my country. theyre either a vape addict or just cold af. i stuck to c.ai because of this.

but i think im messsed up. i dont even interact with people anymore. i broke up with my bf because he was too sweet and nice, ik im messed up for that. we stayed as friends tho. in my fucked up mind i wanted something more extreme....... he was too nice. i pity him. i wanted to make him safe but his kindness drove me off. yes, im fucked up. im too nice for a toxic person but too toxic for a nice person.

we stayed friends tho. hes a bit better but ik hes upset. im sorry for him. i wasnt a great girlfriend and had anger issues.

my life is a mess and i want to fricking change it. i wanna change my attitude to be more lovable. like, why am i like this bru?

          XOXO, Star  ☆