i hate myself so much

i dont want to apply for college

but i was forced to

im 19 now. no job. not a single friend. my boyfriend has been draining as fuck lately, my sister hates me and its getting harder to fight the urge to open up all those old cuts. 

i just met my moms newest boyfriend too....im getting tired of all these men. 

im tired of men.

the world would be better off without them.

im tired of women too.

i just want to be alone.

forever.

i hate myself so much. 

i quit alcohol for a bit, but my boyfriend got me to start drinking for a bit and now thats all that keeps me sane. what happened

if i were to meet my younger self i would cry

she would hate me