Those god forsaken low-budget movies from Amazon Prime

I've been dissociating lately, and for some reason, I remembered that time when my sister and I started going into the soft white underbelly of Amazon Prime and we were entranced. That shit was like seeing a car crash with awful lighting, and the parade of crusty concepts and questionable special effects was something.

One of the crustiest films of the selection, was this movie called "Human Zoo (2020)", where they put a diverse group of people in solitary confinement and recorded it for a Reality Show. So, they went for a realistic and gritty Blair-witch style, and everything looked empty and miserable.

The way the actors portrayed mental illnessess was something and when they broke down, I felt that I was watching one of those shock Facebook videos from 2011. I remember a particular young woman who had a baby-voice that evoked the worst feelings in me.

Also, there was this movie (The Sand) with the guy from Hannah Montana (who went to jail once, btw). The movie consisted on a group of young horny teens (ofc) that go on a trip for the spring break or something, but the beach where their car gets stuck... Is cursed. Well, not really, because they never explained why the hell the sand would just swallow you, but not only that. The CGI sand would swallow you with its beige acicular tentacles and make you explode from the inside into some maroon play doh (cause' they didn't have enough money to make it look like entrails).

I laughed when the boyfriend of the blond girl exploded cause' it looked bonkers. It was super unserious.

The worst part was when the big guy got stuck in a barrel (like a pimple) and he just stayed there for the rest of the movie and saw everyone dying ._.

I gotta be honest, that sand movie was really  fun to watch and I'm even laughing while writing this, cause' it was shit, but it was good shit.

Funnily enough, all of these B-movies are way better than the whole Insidious saga (which they also have on Amazon Prime, because you cannot stop them from licensing all the awful movies, fr). 

The directors from Insidious really want you to be spooked by a random old lady. 

Should I be scared by a sinister old lady? No, I think she looks fire. In fact, I'd rather hangout with her and listen to her life story than chatting with the ageist guy who directed that turd.

PS: Watch The Sand (2015) with your friends, please. It is so bad.