CRAZIEST MOVIE EVER!!! HEATHERS (1988) REVIEW!! SPOILERS AND TW FOR SU!C!DE AND OTHER BAD THINGS!

hey babess

so i just watched heathers (1988) and it was a kinda weird movie...

ok so it starts off with three super popular backstabbing pretty girls, the heathers, all named heather btw. and then also this girl veronica, who they like adopted into their clique. so just normal stuff is going on at school nothing rlly, but then the main heather invites veronica to this party which is like a super big deal and veronica ends up throwing up at the party and her and the main heather argue outside. then it cuts to veronica in her room writing a super angry diary entry abt heather saying she wants to kill her because shes evil and stuff! 

and btw, veronica has this bf whos like honestly rlly weird and creepy... and when two jocks were messing with him at lunch HE PULLED A GUN OUT AND SHOT THEM!!!! but they didnt die so i guess it was like fake bullets? IDK but WHY DID HE HAVE THAT AT ALL ANYWAYS?!!!?! LIKE HELLO?? 😭 IT WAS SO RANDOM

anyways, the next scene is veronica and her man coming to the main heathers house when shes sleeping and they walk in and for some reason heather doesnt freak out, but whatever, and they say that they made a hangover drink for her and she drinks it. btw, before they woke up heather they made it in HER kitchen!!! like WHAT!! so heather drinks it and shes like gagging then she falls down through the glass coffee table and DIES.

HELLO!!?! ITS 20 MINUTES IN WHATS GOING ON HELP!?!?!?!

and then veronica makes a fake suicide note and the school finds out and everyones talking abt it and stuff and blah blah blah. then at the funeral another heather asks veronica to go on a double date with her and her man, but her mans friend doesnt have anyone so thats why veronica has to go. the girls go and the guys get super drunk so veronica dips, but the guy veronica was with totally trashes her name and says they did super freaky stuff when they DIDNT. 

so veronica tells HER man abt it and they make a plan to KILL the two guys from the night before BUT make it look like they were in love with eachother and killed themselves because nobody would accept them if they were gay. so veronica calls the guys and says she always wanted to experience getting freaky with two guys at once and to meet her in the woods. and btw, these guys are like super dumb jocks so ofc they do it.

ok so she makes them take off their cltohes...then her man comes out and shoots one guy inthe neck and BTW her CREEPY boyfriend said these bullets just go a little through the skin so it looks like theyre dead but theyre not...??? so shes ok with it.. but then one guy gets away bc she sucks at shooting, her bf chases him and shoots him. then theyre setting the scene, AND THE COPS COME SO THEY RUN AWAY

BUT NOW ITS GETTING CRAZY LIKE WHAT IS THE PLOT OF THIS MOVIE EVEN?? 

so veronica and her man run away and the cop chases them but they pretend to be making out. the next day veronica and her man argue because she didnt want them dead but her psycho boyfriend ruined it. so then the other two heathers walk by their car as they argue and some girl comes up and tells them abt the guys killing themselves, then the heather that was on the double date is like WAIT.....whats going on here...

ok skip ahead a bunch of stuff just abt the school finding out. veronica and her man are at his house and his dad is also weird, and hes talking about how he TRAPPED  A NORWEGIAN IN THE FRIDGE?? WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!

THEN HER MAN SAYS THAT HIS MOM DIED BECAUSE SHE WALKED IN TWO MINUTES BEFORE HIS DAD BLEW THE PLACE UP AND SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING!!! HELLO???

THEN ON THE RADIO A SONG ABT TEENAGE SUICIDE COMES ON AND HE SAYS ITS OUR SONG!!! THEN HE SHOOTS THE RADIO AND SHES LIKE OK IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU THEN HE SAYS NO AND SOME OTHER STUFF THEN FORCEFULLY KISSES HER!!!!!!! CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY HE KEEPS GRABBING ONTO HER AND KISSING HER AND SHES TRYING TO GET AWAY AND SHE TELLS HIM OFF AND LEAVES AND HES LIKE "YOULL BE BACK" 🤓☝️ SHUTTT UP SHUTT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

and so when i was watching this i thought that hes gonna shoot up the school later on...so ig we'll see if that happens

ok so the next day veronicas ex talks to the other heather not the one that went on the date, and blackmails her and then gives her the dead heathers hair bow....

then veronica is looking through dead heathers locker and sees all her stuff and its kinda sad cause its so cute and she finds a pic of her and heather!!! SO SAD

AND THEN THE HOE THAT VERONICAS EX WAS TALKING TO LAST NIGHT WEARS THE DEAD HEATHERS BOW AND TAKES HER STUFF FROM HER LOCKER!!!!! LIKE I DIDNT LIKE THE MAIN HEATHER THAT MUCH BUT WHATTTT SHES LITERALLY TRYING TO BE THE NEW HEATHER BECAUSE THAT CREEP TOLD HER TO!!!

ok and i didnt talk abt this earlier, but the heathers pulled a prank on this fat kid wayyy in the beginning of the movie. then fast forward to now, we see a bunch of clips of this kid and i think he wanted to do suicide..SO HE LITERALLY JUST WALKS IN THE ROAD??? WHAT IS THIS MOVIE!!?!

ok and then the new main heather just walks in and tells veronica that the fat kid, which i thought was a boy is martha dumptruck and she belly  flopped in front of a car wearing a suicide note!!! 😭 now im not making fun of this but thats just crazy. so when we saw that clip, that was martha. shes alive tho. and heather says that its just another geek trying to imitate the popular people of the school.

then veronica and heather are sitting in her room listening to a podcast on the radio and the heather from the date is doing a call in and tlaking about how she thinks god cursed her because her boyfriend killed himself the next day after they freaked, shes failing math, and her whole life is a mess. she didnt get captain of the cheerleading team and her parents are divorced. 

AND THEN THAT STUPID HOE WHOS TRYING TO BE THE MAIN HEATHER TOLD THE WHOLE SCHOOL ABOUT WHAT HEATHER SAID ON THE RADIO AND WROTE ON THE CHALKBOARD POOR HEATHER!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD SHE IS A SICK SICK GIRL

and then in the class that both heathers and veronica are in and the chalkboard message, the sad heather gets up and runs to the bathroom, mean heather says shes going to cry, and veronica gets up and goes after her. the sad heather is in the bathroom trying to OD. then veronica saves her THANK THE LORD OMG!!! the heather that tried to od is the only heather i like, she barely did anything.

so jd, veronicas weirdo ex, and the main heather communicate and ig hes trying to get back at veronica or smth but IDK!!! and heather goes around getting people to sign this petition to have a band play at the prom but everyone gets a different one bc some ppl wouldnt sign it otherwise, and thats when veronica finds out jd was telling heather to do these things. THEN JD COMES AND IS MANIPULATING VERONICA INTO KILLING HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT ANYMORE

but veronica ditches him and goes home and her parents are waiting and said jd stopped by and said he thought she was gonna kill herself. OH GREAT!!! THIS GUY IS  CRAZY!!!!!! I CANT!!

THEN SHE WALKS IN HER ROOM AND THERES A FREAKING DOLL HUNG FROM THE CEILING WITH THE SHIRT THAT MARTHA WEARS!!! SO CREEPY

THEN WHEN SHES SLEEPING HE BREAKS IN AND STARTS READING HER MOBY DICK

THEN THEY GO TO FREAKING HEATHERS HOUSE HE GETS A KNIFE HE LOOKS SUPER CREEPY CREEPY MUSIC HE WRITES A SUICIDE NOTE AND OH MY GOSH...AAAAAAAAAAAND HE KILLS HER. I CANT BELIEVE THIS

VERONICA IS AT THE FUNERAL AND THE PRIEST IS TALKING SUPER CREEPY AND THEN THE DEAD HEATHER FIRST DEAD ONE SHOWS UP AND THEYRE TALKING!!!! 

but omg

that WHOLE THING WAS A NIGHTMARE!

veronica wakes up, writies in her diary that shes gonna kill herself. but..then theres a clip of jd outside her house WITH A GUN

then when he gets in her room...veronica hung herself, jd walks in, hes like OH! i was gonna shoot you! but then hes talking about blowing the school up and its just like oh my gosh what i nthe world and hes kinda sad about her dying

but then her mom is calling for dinner, so jd leaves, but when she walks in veronica stops the act because SHE DIDNT ACTUALLY DIE!!! PERIOD!!!! 

BUT SHE STILL GOEES TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY!!!! I CANT EVEN

SHES FOLLOWING HIM AS HE SETS UP THE BOMBS AND THEN HE HIT HER AND SHE FALLS ASLEEP THEN SHE WAKES UP AND HITS HIM ON THE HEAD WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND THEN SHE GETS THE GUN AND SHOOTS HIS MIDLE FINGER OFF AND SHES LIKE HOW DO I TURN IT OFF AND HE SAYS OK YEAH I WANTED TO BLOW UP THE SCHOOL BECAUSE NOBODY LOVES ME!!! OMG SHUT UP LOSER ACTUALLY  SHUT UP

AND THEN SHE TURNS THE BOMB OFF AND RUNS OUT OF THE SCHOOL BUT JD PULLS UP AND HES LIKE BLAH BLAH BLAH AND SHOWS HER THAT HE HAS A BOMB ON HIMSELF!!!!

AND THATS IT!

i dont even know what to say

that was the craziest movie ever

im logging off

xoxo, 

princessa