Invisible...

To feel invisible... never seen, never heard.... the lack physical touch causes such a tangible invisible pain. Like a thread of silk that was once delicately wrapped around the heart in beautiful bow, pulled so tight causing a knot so tight in the chest that I can't breathe... my heart no longer beating because it has no room left to expand. 

Never being seen. Makes one not want to shine their light. Makes one not want to shower, or even wake up. 

Loving someone who never sees you... never hears you... that is a hell on this earth that most could never understand.  

They have a self control to prevent their assault, but instead there is a malicious compliance to it all. Let me drive you insane one moment at a time all while I steal your light, and you can't even pull yourself out of bed. And then let me ignore you some more. 

And then when you do cry out for attention, be told you are too loud, too emotional, too everything, all the while you are are being consumed by darkness and wallow as your light fades away. 

Too loud, too emotional, too anything only means I am too bold and full of light and am acknowledging that stealing my light and trying to fill me with darkness literally kills me.  

So what is the answer to the question of the meaning of life?? Because time is running out....