respect but also paranoia

idk why im even writing this but I had to get it off my chest and you dont need to read this, I just don't mind it being public. although I respect all religions, sometimes I get scared that maybe its bad that I can exactly decide what I believe in. I get scared that the immortal entity that brought me on this earth is disappointed that im not worshipping them. so I get paranoia that I'll ge cursed by something for any bad thing I do and my whole family will die. yeah, late night thoughts. maybe Im just high on my scented candle air.