going back to school

im going back to school im a bit scared because i was bullied alot and my ex is going to i despise them so much. i dont understand why i was even in love with them. i feel like i really had no choice to not or to be with them. i also have no friends except this guy named kal . hes really chill . also i think i might be a guy. ive felt this way all my life and idk, i love fashion styles for girls alot but i feel like id be more comfortable with being a guy. its wierd ive had this account for a long time im on it alot but dont talk. i have social anxiety even on the internet lolz. i also have autism i hope that doesnt make me less then i was before. i dont care about my old bullies really theyd make the most disney and shittiest remarks about me. oh yeah im going into high school. my styles midwest emo/emo. man depression sucks but im glad i can express myself w out my mom or family hating on me to (my whole family has emo style or goth) istg if school still sucks im starting a band and dropping out. but ill probably stay either way even if i wanna quit badly. im getting tired

peace out