insecurity is ruining my life (ᗒᗣᗕ)

ive come to the realization that my insecurity is a much bigger issue than i realized. the entire reason why i couldnt fathom dating someone and cant even force myself to upkeep my friendships is because of the fact that i cant even comprehend someone wanting to be around me let alone talk to me. i mean of course im also pretty aware of the fact that my personality is pretty meh and im not very funny but hopefully this daunting realization actually allows me to do something about it rather than wallow in the shame of my mental barrier. 

anyways ive also noticed that when i make blogposts i tend to ramble and follow a train of thought rather than have a concrete idea that i stick to so sorry to anyone who actually cares enough to read these or maybe it doesnt matter bc these rlly are just for myself at the end of the day. who cares

-theo