i can't help but hate and love him all at once

so my friend, that I was friends with a long time ago, started talking to me again and I told him about my past obsession with him, then he began to talk about his ex and I started to get pissed off. he said he wrote letters to her and he felt like shit because she randomly broke up with him. but he was telling me all this too, and I got upset and told him how he made me feel and I regret doing that. he's nice and I care about him a lot, but his talking about his ex just made me think back to all the shitty ways I used to feel about him that he is now feeling about his ex. I feel so horrible for telling him off, it was selfish of me but I just snapped. 

if anyone has any good song, then ill listen (not on spotify tho, i got banned) \

update: im better now

Update 2: me and him are together