17082024 ☆ Help me, please (ranting about high school)

HALLOOO, IM BACK!! It's been already 9 months since I last connected to spacehey. I don't have too much time now, but things have gotten the biggest twist ever in my life. The week above this next week I will be having 2nd trimestral tests.. because guess who chose science bachelor? I want to kill myself.

OK, so to start, I got accepted in one of the best high school of my country. I was supposed to go in the afternoon classes, since here afternoon classes are from 12:45 to 5:30 or sum like that, and the morning classes are from 7:00 to 12:03, or well, at least that's how it is in this new high school, because in my other school we used to finish at 12:40 if you were in middle school, while elementary would finish at 12:00. Anyways, I'm in the morning classes because my dear friend, Star, I guess I have already mentioned my friend a lot so you may already know who's Star. Star also got accepted there, but declined it and I asked them if I could take his place, as I wanted to be in the morning. Why? Because of the many responsibilities and activities I have during the afternoon. I take piano and sight reading classes, I'm also part of the choir of that music school.

Anyways, so thanks to Star I'm in the morning. Now the point here, I'm all alone. Some of my past friends before I started hanging out with Ariel, Marck and Star are there, but in other classes and we're not in the best terms with each other's tho, we sometimes talk, but I won't give any more details about it. Just one of those boys is in the same class as me. We stayed with each other for quite a while until I made 'friends' because he would always drag me with him to that group knowing damn well I wasn't in good terms with them! Like, are you doing this on purpose or what?! Anyways, I finally attached myself to some girls there, because one of them talked first to me and I felt like she would be a great company and as well a good teamworker. BIGGEST MISTAKE, GUYS. They're really sweet and all that, but they made me feel excluded. I thought I could talk to them about all my interests in classical music, artists my dad really liked, and my own personal interests like vocaloid and you know, writing stories and making oc's, like, just be myself. But the moment I showed them one of my favorites songs, which my dad introduced to me, Quizás by Andrea Bocelli, BOTH GIRLS SIDE EYED ME, and said something like "okay Riri" and went back to their phones. I never felt so judged before. Only a boy that was sitting behind me told me "Your dad has a great taste" the only one who understands my love for old things, if I can call it like that. 😭

They aalways made me feel off place, they have me there but just talk between them, and I don't have time to just be standing between two girls yapping to each other. It doesn't affected me tho, I have learned to not take these things like that as you should know what's best for you, idk if y'all get what im trying to say. All their topics are boys 😞 and I'm about to throw up every time they show me those guys. I want to talk about everything, not just about boyfriends and boys. But there it was this other girl who's such a sweetheart, she is very responsible and so intelligent, besides very centered in her things.

So after that I started to hangout with this sweet girl and the rest of her friends. Even tho they aren't my kind of people, they're really nice and actually I don't think that matter, because they are nice and funny. Which is all I need to be comfortable and not just expect them to have the same likes as me, just like Star, Ariel and Marck. I expected to find a lot of people like them, but it was the whole opposite, and now I want so bad to leave this school. But anyways, this new group of friends work very well. I like doing teams with them for group works. And they're funny in their own way. Also I have found out how much in common we also have despite being in different fonts, if you get why I mean. And this girl is so lovely, she's also very devoted to God which makes me feel at ease when talking about my beliefs and expressing myself without having a side eye on me. She also likes anime so it makes it more easy for me to talk about my likes. 

Their names are Mari, Anahis, Albis, and Johana. Albis is very hyperactive and all the classroom doesn't like him, but they just don't know how to deal with him. But he's nice and very funny. Mari is this one girl who I just love being with and she does beautiful works! Anahis is the more close to me besides Mari, but I spend quite much time with Anahis, she's so funny and also very kind, and Johana.. well, I don't really spend that much with her, but she really sweet too, she's like an army from 2019, but it's fine, she's cute and kind, and has such a beautiful long hair! Those are my new friends!!

Today here they celebrated the book fair, I couldn't afford to go as i didn't have more time to pay for my ticket because of some inconveniente I had with the choir, as we supposedly were going to perform there, but then it was canceled and I didn't knew until this Monday since I was sick and couldn't asist to the choir. So since I was trusting that I would go free with the choir to the book fair I didn't pay at my school since the teacher chose me to be one of the few to go to the fair. So yeah.. I guess yall catch what I'm trying to explain. I didn't go, yet Anahis and the rest went there, and I just asked Anahis to look for me after the Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, she wrote it down before leaving. I though she would forget about it, and I actually told her to look for it for me just teasing her, but guess what?!? She looked for it and found it!! 😭😭 Idk why but just that made ne happy as most of the time I feel like no one listens to me or have any interest in what I like and woudl forget easily when I say something, she found it and now I regret not giving her the money and ask her to buy it for me. But anyways, at least I know I can find it here in Panama. I'm starting to like quite a lot my new high school with this little group of friend despite the start I had.

Besides next year, my childhood bestfriend and my little sister will be coming to this school, so I won't be that alone anymore, that I'm since I have this group of friends now. ♡