getting older

the more i sit around, the more i think about how i am no longer 14 and i cant help remembering "lorde's letter to adolescence" more specifically when she says "All my life I’ve been obsessed with adolescence, drunk on it. Even when I was little, I knew that teenagers sparkled. I knew they knew something children didn’t know, and adults ended up forgetting." and i just resonate with it so much. i still feel so young and i know im still basically just a kid, but i also cant help but feel withdrawn due to being in the weird space of juvenile transitioning to full formed adult.

 im only 18 and i dont know anything, but when i was 17 i felt like i knew everything and its strange. theres so much yearning for when i was so young, even though i was miserable, and yet i still want so badly to understand the secrets of adulthood.

maybe one day ill become more adjusted to being a person but for right now i am still 14 going on 25.

- xoxo theo