Had the fucking time of my LIFE at my first concert!!

It's so crazy that I've never been to a concert before it's sooooo sick! I very recently, like maybe a month or two ago, started listening to Scene Queen. I heard about her on tiktok forever ago and had been meaning to check her out but was just way too overwhelmed to remember. I finally did listen to all her stuff and instantly fell in love. Her music has been helping me cope a lot, I've been trying to find more artists that help me healthily connect with my anger and frustration and she does exactly that. Plus she also has a lot of fun songs that are good confidence boosters and gay as hell and I fucking love being sapphic and seeing sapphics! I was just telling my therapist about how much it means to me when artists make space for victims to be loud and upset because when you're a victim of something taboo and uncomfortable like grooming and sexual trauma most people will act sympathetic on a surface level to look like the good guys but they want you to shut up and deal with it alone so they don't have to think about it. It's extremely tiring to be silenced all the time and told that my anger is "too much." There is no amount of anger I could have towards my groomer that would be "too much," he deserves all of it and so much more. 

When I followed her on instagram I saw that she was on tour and that she was gonna be in my city really soon. It was an impulse decision, I just knew I owed it to myself. It was 100% worth it. There were 5 other bands that played as well, they were all really good and I'm gonna find the time to check them all out at some point cuz I enjoyed every song that played that night. Always happy to find new music! I was right at the front railing and fairly close to the middle so I had the perfect view of her set it was awesome. At one point she even held my hand and sang directly at me!! All the bands were throwing keepsakes into the crowd at the end of their set which I thought was really cool. I managed to get Scene Queen's set list, I even got it signed afterwards!

I'm gonna frame it :D

Everyone there was super nice too, I got a bunch of compliments on my outfit and makeup that I worked very hard on and the person next to me gave me a Scene Queen bracelet they made! It was really cool they had a collection of bracelets for all the bands that they were giving out to fans, they could tell from my outfit who I was there for. This is what I did, I made it to match the shirt I got from her site <3

These pictures are from when I was doing a makeup test, when I did the final look I added more stars on my cheeks!

This is the bracelet I got gifted

I also got this super cute hoodie from her merch booth

After I visited her merch booth I went back into the crowd and found myself in the mosh pit. Never seen one before, shit was CRAZY! /pos It was super fun. I GOT TO CROWD SURF! I had been looking for where the crowd surfing was coming from and I finally found some dudes hoisting people up when I got to the mosh pit and I instantly b-lined for them. AMAZING FEELING 10/10 would recommend. At the end of the show I got to meet Scene Queen which is how I got the set list autographed (when she saw me she thanked me for singing every word! :D), and I got to tell her how much her music means to me. I didn't wanna be weird and like trauma dump but I did want her to know that when she says the uncomfortable thing it DOES help people so I specifically mentioned 18+ being my favorite to kinda get the point across in a round-about way. She gave me a hug so I'm pretty sure she got it <3

This was the most fun I've had in a really long time and it was very freeing. I also can't remember the last time I genuinely felt fulfilled while doing something alone. It's not like I can't have ANY fun when I do fun things by myself, but it's a very empty feeling still. I am trying to work on my codependency but it's a long process. For once, I completely truly enjoyed myself even tho I went alone. It feels fantastic!