vent (again bc apparently the last one wanst posted idk why + tw: suicide, self harm)

like i said, im sad. im really sad. idk whats going on w my life. i never wanted to die like i want these days. everything seems to be so confusing.

everyday im alone, even when im w my friends, the feel of loneless still here, i dont want to feel that anymore, if i kill myself this feeling can go away? or i can just cut my arm again, who really cares abt that? i am important to someone? im so tired, i just want to die, but at the same time i want to feel pain, real pain, i just want to cut myself until i bleed to death. why i am like this, why everything i do is never enough? why everything is so hard? why i cant just speak with another people? why i cant talk normally? what is my problem? sometimes i think my dad was right, im stupid, everything i do is stupid.

i dont want to see the tomorrow, i just want to die. i want to die. maybe the suicide can be the exit for that. maybe. who cares? i should just die, its not going to make any difference anyways.

im so sad right now. i cant even write or think. i cant handle this anymore. i think i need help.

im such a waste of time, everyone around me seems to me tired of me, im so sad. i just want to die. i just want to cut myself, maybe i should do that. 

i cant handle this anymore, im going insane.