I’d like to see you undone

12/08/24

Marriage counselling 

I know that I’m a cynic but I don’t think it works. It didn’t work for my parents and it wouldn’t work for us. 

I have this vision of us sat in the pastor’s office and I’ve just shut down the way that I do and you’re pretending that you don’t hate me 

Cause you would 

You’d hate me 

You’d learn every terrible thing I’ve ever done and you wouldn’t love me anyway 

And you wouldn’t get that reference 

And you wouldn’t get me. Cause you get the surface but you don’t get the rest. You can see my skin but you don’t notice how my lungs move or how my ribs creek 

That’s what I’ve been trying to say 

I just can’t say it to your face. 

So

I promise you’re not in love with me 

People tend to think they’re in love with me but really they don’t know me or they don’t know love. They just want to feel wanted. And I’m a reckless romantic. I will give in to eye contact and blushing. And I’ll let you tear me apart 

It’s easy to take advantage of someone’s loneliness when you can justify it with your own 

Phone off hook

I’ve ignored your texts 

Don’t talk behind my back 

You’re and adult 

Act like it 

Stop pretending it’s so hard to love me 

Stop pretending it’s my fault 

When will it stop being my fault? 

This is just purgatory

But it’s your fault I’m missing out on them 

Ok I’m done for now

Love you all 

Yours, 

Miss misery