Rambling about love

when i was younger, i used to be so desperate for love, desperate to be in love. I wanted so badly for somebody to be hopelessly in love with me. Not only did i want to feel wanted, but i also felt that i had so much love to give and nobody to give it to. I often felt that every emotion i experienced was felt ten fold, and love was no exception. But now i realize that i have been thinking about it all wrong. Instead of holding onto all my love and letting it pool up inside of me, I can show love to everyone each day. There are so many forms of love and so many ways to express it; even just the kindness you show to strangers each day is love. There doesn't need to be just one single recipient of our love; we don't have to wait for one special person to share our love with. If I have an abundance of love, why keep it to myself? We all deserve love.

Now thats not to say that it isn't difficult to actually be a loving person. Saying im trying to be more loving and actually doing it is two different things. Being lovey-dovey and warm and gushy doesn't come naturally to me, so i have to work at it. I also don't normally like physical affection and im not good at expressing my emotions but sometimes when i feel like it, i hug the people i love. Love and kindness, im not the best at expressing them but one day i hope people will be able to describe in that way. 

8/13/24