To my friends

I have always been a better writer than a talker. I don't open up, I don't let anyone know what's going on in my mind. Some call me senseless and selfish, and I do nothing but agree. For my entire life, I have been selfish, thinking only about myself and taking everything for granted. What do I have to be depressed about? I have a good life. I have people who care about me. Then why? Why do I have to live in such agony? No more. I'm sorry for disappointing you, letting you down over and over again. Why am I this way? What have I done to deserve this? The answer is me, the answer has always been me. And then again, it was me once more. Finally, it had always been me. Did you want a sob story? Something that made you feel more empathy towards me? Sorry again, for I have to let you down once more. I am weak, tired and fully swallowed by shame just writing this. Please tell me I did good, please tell me I did my best. Even if you can't smile at me, know that you have brought me nothing but kindness throughout everything. I wanted someone to notice. Nobody did, or they didn't care. I wouldn't care either, knowing how selfish I have always been. Please, don't hate me for giving up. Please tell me I tried. I've worked hard, right? Thank you