((HEAVEN HELP ME!!!!!))

forgot to write!!! n then didn't feel like it!!! n then forgot again!!! kinda still don't feel like it, my hands are cold and there aren't many things i want to share, but i have to do SOMETHING before i explode. and twitter has a word limit, so here i am. not to vent, but to ramble about the things that have cluttered my brain in a more positive way!!

i'm debating getting into marvel, or maybe just watching some of the mcu movies i remember seeing a few years ago. like winter soldier or something. but i just know there's gonna be some way that everything connects, and i'm not gonna get the references or foreshadowing, and its gonna piss me off, and i'm gonna fall deeper into it until i know Everything Possible. i wish i had big marvel fan friends that could give me a guideline of everything i NEED to watch, so i could have something to start with, yknow? 

i do have friends who like superheroes actually. i just feel dumb asking them anything, like i'm the twelve year old brother that wants to play with the action figures on their shelf and doesn't understand that "they're serious collectibles!!! you can't play with them!!!!" 

there are some things i already like without their help though!!! i can have interests without knowing everything in the goddamn universe!!! like the venom movies, i love those, and i've watched all three of the deadpool movies as they've released, the most recent one being the reason i'm debating watching more movies to begin with and completely rotting my brain. i can't go ten minutes without thinking about logan again. its so bad. its so over. i'm not sure if i'd like the x-men movies, but maybe with just a bit more brainrot i'd cave and watch them for him. in honor, or something. knowledgeable marvel fans..... save me knowledgeable marvel fans...... (still definitely not gonna ask them. will google if things get dire. pray for me)

actually i'm not done talking about the deadpool and wolverine movie. it healed something in me that i didn't know needed healing, it cured my diseases, it cleared my skin, i need to go crazy over them so bad but i feel embarrassed talking about it with literally EVERYONE because i still don't know SHIT outside of the deadpool movies!!!!!! and most of my thoughts arent even about them as "heroes" or whatever, I WANNA SEE THEM GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!!!!!!! 

anyway. thats all folks