rememberance

There were so many words that came to Vinnie Dakota's mind when he thought of his partner, so many possible ways to describe the one he'd chosen to share his life with. 

Balthazar Cavendish was kind, so endlessly kind, but so excitable and impatient. It was so cute to see his eyes light up whenever he had one of his 'bright ideas', Dakota never was able to resist joining in. Sure, it often resulted in misadventure, but they always made memories together that they could laugh at later, curled up on their sofa with the rest of the world far away.

He was so well-meaning, even if he was a little bit of an idiot. Dakota's sweet, loveable idiot who always had everyone's best interests at heart. So selfless, so concerned for everyone that he cared about, even to a fault. But Dakota adored those faults and flaws; they were irrefutably Cavendish.

He was loving in a way Dakota had never known before him. Sure, they argued often over the little things, but that was life. Their little differences and eccentricities were the spice of it, and they never fought, not truly. No one had ever accepted him, treated him so well, had so much faith. He'd always been seen as the comic, the jokester, but Cavendish saw past that every time. He broke down those walls and challenged it every time Dakota steered off course.

There were so many ways to describe that wonderful man Dakota had laid his life down for so many times before, breaking every law to keep him safe, and he hoped, he prayed that for one moment, just one more moment, he could describe Cavendish.

With any word, any single word other than dead.

There were no more second chances, no more rewinds, no more bargains with the universe or Murphy's Law or whatever gods may or may not exist. Dakota had no more cards to play, no more aces up his sleeves. No more one-way tickets. The silence was deafening, the solitude ice cold.

What was the use of destroying the space-time continuum if Cavendish ended up buried in the ground, in a time that was never meant to be his? If Dakota was left waking up screaming, unable to even call his mother to hear her comforting voice? Being trapped in the past was something Dakota had taken in his stride before, because at least he had Cavendish safe by his side. It had never felt so constricting before.