Afternoon post and my ultimate dream

I'm off work and now I'm dual wielding my cellphone and my laptop as I write this and manage a conversation on discord about how many men want to put their (and i quote) "hot pocket into my microwave".

It all started because I wanted to share my life goals with my friends. (life goals that are HIGHLY influenced by my hormonal imbalance and desire for platonic intimacy)

I want a little farm and a family with one to two children and a kitchen with pink appliances and an old washing machine and a wringer and a clothesline to dry my clothes on and to make food that makes my family happy and healthy. And a large music collection. 

I have a very serious but minimal set of requirements for a partner some day. And I'll list them here.

1. We've got to have similar ideals about life.
2. They can't be someone who throws punches when they get mad, because today it's that door, but tomorrow it's me. 
3. They have to like music.
4. They have to like and eat homegrown and preserved foods.

I understand that in some places these are very low standards, but for where I'm from, its like asking for a miracle. One day, if the partner part does not come true and I can comfortably do so, I will probably adopt one child. 

Anyway my hormonal imbalance is the cause of all my woes and I need to be put down. 

I am going feral.

- Beeble