keep forgetting i have a crush on my friend

it seems like i forget about it a lot, even though i have a pretty hardcore crush on her. maybe it's just been on my mind less because i've been busy with volunteering.

i've been thinking about what my relationship to her might be after we graduate high school. once i leave a place, i detach from the people i was friends with. i don't really want that to happen with her. she's one of the best people i've met.

there's a few reasons why i haven't told her about my crush and don't plan to. i still think about being in a relationship with her sometimes. i'm not that great at imagining what romance is like, so i just see it as living as roommates or being friends in a closer way than we are now.

maybe this'll be a thing i joke about with my friends in the future. one of them already teases me about it now.