I honestly understand Gluskin a lot

This might be just a vent, but since im talking about a video game character, might as well put this in the game category

Eddie Gluskin is obviously a villain. A crazy person that's too far gone to be treated. Maybe there was a chance before the Murkoff Corporation, but after that, there is just no way, and his death was deserved(mostly) and pretty much the only solution. 

I wanted to say that I feel like him, and I related to him a lot and it bringed me comfort to see someone that feels like I do, even if its fictional. I have bpd or...ig i do, Idk i never got diagnosed, but idk how else to call what im feeling. These intense emotions and splitting in seconds, going from emotion to emotion just like that, and I feel the need to always have Control over a situation. I was really obsessive before, but being hurt so many times made me stop caring about people and honestly I don't know if I can trust anyone again. Anger feels like murder, sadness feels like suicide and rare moment of happiness are euphoric, and love turns obsessive. But anyway, back to Eddie:

I know he's this mysoginistic bcs thats how he was raised, back then, when the woman was just a servant, meant to have kids and do what her husband told her to do. A really toxic power exchange. No one is born being extremly power obsessed or extremly subservient. Kids are taught. And honestly, who wouldn't want to be like that? Having control and more power over a group of people, no matter what, It feels good and it feels secure. 

He must have hated women and men, not having a gender to trust more or turn to, and not having a good parent or adult to be there for him. His mother was weak, wasn't she? She didn't stop his father or uncle from abusing him, probably due to fear, or maybe she was too oblivious to do. Tbh, I don't think he was able to have sex as an adult anymore. Probably being ashamed of it, of doing an act his father and uncle did to him as a kid. I can just imagine him not wanting to have sex with any woman, bcs it felt too gross, so all of them must have leaved him, making him fear and hate abandonment. 

Idrk if he has a personality or mood disorter like bpd, but he sure as hell seems like it. He cant take any misunderstanding or fight with anyone. Prob got cheated, once, or twice, prob got dumped bcs he didn't want to have sex, 1 women leaving turns to 2, to 20, to 100, to everyone. Became so paranoid of his gfs or wifes cheating, or leaving him, he split and killed them. I don't doubt he can be capable of love, but he doesn't trust anyone enough for that to truly work. I can imagine be wants to, but everyone leaves, every woman, and everyone else along the way. 

Maybe he wants to live his fantasy of the perfect marriage, with a perfect wife, in his eyes. Maybe he's using the wife thing as an excuse to just castrate men. Stripping them of their "masculinity", forcing them to be "wifes", turning them into women. Maybe in his eyes, turning a man into a woman is the ulrimate control he can have over one, maybe he just loves to see them as weak as women, maybe he just loves to castrate and humiliate them. I mean why wouldn't he? I would too. I understand everything 

I should write abt him when im in a better state of mind. I just wanted to talk abt him to calm myself down. This is just blabbering