as of late

Hey blog What’s up blog How are you doing blog it’s been a while I’m very sorry very very sorry but also, I’m not sorry🤫😏 my brother got some super cool footage in thunderstorm a couple days ago while I was driving. Feels like you by Whirr is my favorite album and it is THE PERFECT album to play in a thunderstorm so when I saw the lightning in the distance I made this exact face😼 played that John in its entirety the whole ride home and wow it was so good that might be my favorite experience listening to it. it’s been 5 days since my last blog holy moly. I’ve been theoretically busy with work and essays and stuff so I haven’t been doing much of anything else but the thing is half the time I’m at home I’m working and the other half I’m just scrolling looking at bullshit on my phone. I DONT EVEN LIKE IT!! All it does is prolong the amount of time I have to think about these stupid history essays!!! It makes me feel sick man. SICK. I also started editing the music video I shot a couple days and I keep getting stuck and it feels bad. I keep watching the Jennifer’s body video by Ken Carson and comparing it to mine like what are they doing to their editing that makes theirs so much better than mine! And normally I would say comparison is bad because it is for most things in life but it’s different cause I can really learn a lot from comparing my editing to professional editing but it makes me sick!! Then I start looking at bullshit on my phone and then it keeps repeating over and over and over .. I feel like a hamster right now driving to and from work in my Kia soul only to come home and run on my spinny wheel thing all night!!!! And then I do it again and again and again!! It’s so bad I need to lock my phone inside of a bullet proof fire proof child proof safe and throw it in the ocean any time I really want to lock in on work. Also I’ve been doing a lot of scheming over something new to change my appearance like either I bleach my hair or get a tattoo or get a piercing but I don’t know what to get and I have put zero physical effort into actually doing any of that I just sit in my house and run on my hamster wheel.