i lowkey miss her

I know like, she basically begged me to forget about her and move on, but i just cant do that, i miss her chat, what do i do

I didnt even cared, or liked roses, until she told me she loved roses. A pretty classic choice, actually, though i never got to buy her one. Whenever we were together, she would soften very quickly. The way she looked, her voice, even her strenght, changed whenever we were together. She always treated me as if i was easily breakable, though i wont deny i am actually easily breakable, i wouldnt mind if she held me in her arms tighter, i liked that, a lot, actually. I still remember the day we won out on our first date our first proper kiss, even though it was only for a hour, i enjoyed the food and drink she bought me, the words and topics we spoke about, her actions, i enjoyed all that, a lot, even though i knew eventually she would leave me like everyone. Yet i still forced myself to believe she wouldnt, that she would stay with me, because i wanted to enjoy our short moments together, even if i knew that they would soon fade away into the abyss of our own actions. For the first, and probably the last time in my life, i wanted to actually believe something, a person at that, a person whom i loved very dearly. I would give up everything just to hug her once more, even though i know that i did hug her one last time... I still want to.. do it again, a bit longer, maybe a few minutes, maybe more. Actually... I would hug her for hours and hours and hours on end, if i could, if she would let me hug her, hold her just a bit longer. We didnt spoke much, neither did we paid much attention to eachother, atleast we pretended not to, as there was always too many eyes watching us. But when we were alone together, we still didnt spoke much, yet, each moment of silence we had together, spoke more than words could ever. Even when we just stared at eachother blankly, or when our eyes met from time to time when i realised she was looking at me. We had problems, we were both problematic, helpless and wierd girls, yet we somehow met eachother, by accident, just because our eyes met for a second or two, all because she dropped her pen near me and i decided to look at her. I think... That is what i would call fate, though i know its not. I still want to believe that we were meant for eachother, but we couldnt be together because of society and because of her own selfishness.

I actually didnt liked hugs, no i hated them. And i wasnt planning on changing my perspective about this, but i met her. Her hugs felt so warm, her body was warm, she gently hugged me back as i putted my head on her chest, she didnt complained when i got a bit too exited and squeezed her, she just let out a small laugh, her voice a was so nice, it was like a sweet melody to my ears, it was.. such a nice feeling, it was so nice being hugged like that. I loved that feeling it was too nice, i didnt wanted to let that feeling go, i didnt wanted to let her go, i wanted to hug her as i slept, that would have been nice, a nice feeling. Such a nice feeling, gosh i wonder what i did to felt that? Wierd because i didnt did anything, she just had.. appeared out of nowhere into my life and i started smiling as soon as i saw a part of her or heard her soothing voice, she didnt talked like that to other people, only me, and that made me feel a bit special.. Because her normal voice was a more angry or aggressive, a more loud tone, but her tone always changed when she talked to me, her voice changed to a more quiet, soft and soothing voice, it was nice hearing her, its not like i minded her voice but anyways, i loved her like the way she is, i loved her hair, her eyes, her personality, her clothing style, her nose, her pink broken glasses, her scarred skin, her scarred and painted hands, her half eaten, a bit bloody and half black nailpolish nails, i loved her face, i loved everything about her, that was wierd, wasnt it?