Why can’t we just get along? (Trump X Biden fanfic)

OH MY GYAT THANK YOU GAYS SO MUCH FOR TOP BLOGS + 75 KUDOS I PROMISE I WILL CONTINUE THIS IM JUST A LAZY FUCK 💔💔💔💔

Author’s Note 💀

before i start this horseshit collection of nonsense words put together in the form of a book i would like to say that i despise both biden and trump and i belive neither of them should have ever been president. i also think shipping real people is creepy however when it’s clowns like these fuck it. this is a completely satire “fan”fic and i know they’re both straight. 

this book or whatever will include

possibly slightly racist, sexist, homophobic etc things that’ll most likely come out of trumps mouth (don’t know what to tell you if you didn’t expect that,

it’s trump)

making fun of other politicians and/or celebrities 

SLIGHTLY sexual themes (no actual fucking bc that’s gross but some making out and moaning and shit like that i don’t know)

i’ll add to this list if something needs to be added

i pre apologize to anybody who’s gonna read this 

also DONT LIKE? DONT READ, DONT COMMENT!!! THIS IS SATIRE!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PROLOGUE

Joe Biden’s POV

“D-Donald— Nyah~” I moaned. Me and Donald were making out on the desk of the oval office. I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life! His crusty yellow ramen hair, his cheeto puff powder orange skin, that red MAGA hat he always wears…I was going insane! Melania has been standing in my way forever, always getting between me and my pookie bear. She’s now in the emergency room with Coronavirus or as my wittle trumpie boo likes to call it “China Virus”. He slapped my ass. “I think Sleepy Joe needs to go..to bed.” He picked me up bridal style and carried me to the bedroom and threw me onto the bed. “You’re being such a good little boy for me…such a submissive little slut~” He purred into my ear. My face turned into a deep shade of red. “Is my little boy blushing? Since you’re being so obedient let’s go out for ice cream, what flavor would you like my dear?~” “Chocolate Chocolate Chip.” I replied. Mint Chocolate Chip was my favorite flavor of ice cream. I had it after I fell off of my bike in Delaware that one time. “Alright baby, let’s go.~”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER ONE  ~ THE DEBATE

“Sleepy Joe needs to go!” Trump raised his fist in the air and did that stupid smile of his. The debate ended and Joe and Donald left the stage. 

Later that night Joe saw Donald and Melania holding hands. Joe was filled with jealousy and disgust. “He’s too good for her…” He muttered under his breath. “I need to get rid of her so he can be mine” Joe pursed his lips in deep thought. “I can’t be too obvious about it…They may find out…” His eyes flash. “Coronavirus!” 

Donald’s POV

Me and Melania were holding hands as we walked to the car. She’s been getting on my nerves lately. I don’t know why but  I’ve been thinking about Joe a lot. I’m not attracted to him. I could never be! But at the same time he’s the one i think about every night…He’s the one i’ve been dreaming about. I think— I need him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER TWO ~ DINNER

Joe Biden’s POV

I was having dinner at Donald's house tonight Tonight will be the night. I admire the small capsule in my hand containing coronavirus. I slip the pill into Melania's drink when no one was looking. If all goes according ta plan, melania will be sick with covid and I can have Donald all to myself. The dinner goes by quite fast and it felt like Danald was acting a bit

strange.

Time skip be Accee is lazy author 💀

Donald Trump’s POV

I was having a meeting with my administration when I get a call that Melania has been admitted into the hospital, I excuse myself and immediately leave. When I get to Melanias room I see her on the bed. unconcious. The doctor who has been looking after her notices the look of worry spread across my face. 

"Mr Trump...I’m afraid that Melania has contracted a severe case of covid-19."