8/5/24-🌟

Salut! 

my birthday party went well! I had an amazing time with all of my friends. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to entertain my friends but I think I did an ok job! we played a round of monopoly (The Beetles themed monopoly!) then we did cake and presents. My boyfriends little brother made me a birthday card and it was the best thing i could of asked for. its hard to convey how it makes me feel not only because I am autistic but because i don't think anyone really understands. I'm going to try and explain this the best I can, which is not well because I tried to explain at my Birthday party to my friends and they didn't understand. 

 The amount of love and caring I felt was so immense and over whelming. I don't think people understand when I say "this is my son" because there like "yeah sure it is yeah." But he is my son. Both me and my boyfriend have agreed that we would adopt him when we get a stable home set up, and that we love him like he's our kid. I have barely felt a paternal tug in my life, I have never really wanted my own kids, never wanted to experience pregnancy or babies. But this overwhelming joy and care I feel is so strong. Immediately upon seeing it I burst into tears, and couldn't stop crying every time I saw it after that. its such a small thing but its so special to me. 

today I have therapy, and might be able to spend the night at my boyfriends house if i can get a ride there. but probably not, sometimes i feel a little embarrassed that I'm 17 and don't have my license yet but then i have to remember that most people don't have their license until their 18 so that its ok i don't have mine yet. 

anyways that's all! thank for reading! 

-Sal