a sad update

I didn't want to upset anyone making this announcement and I must apologize for upsetting anyone for telling this, but I have an unfortunate update. My partner Kimmy has passed away today according to his ex Mindie. He committed suicide. Surprisingly, I don't know how Mindie still got contact with Kimmy's family despite that they literally broke up almost a year ago, but Kimmy did say he and Mindie were best friends since they were kids. Regardless, Mindie got a call from his mom about the death. She visited him because his mom told her to and said that she saw him before his suicide. His mom was crying. And his final words was that he wanted everyone including me to help Rammy and make her happy since Rammy is the person that means him the most, and wishes Rammy's husband Callum to protect her and make her happy because she loves him more than anything. 

My partner literally committed suicide and I'm just heartbroken. I was mentally and emotionally devastated, and gone through a range of emotions processing the death of someone I genuinely loved. When I first read Mindie's message, my heart started beating faster than ever and my hands started shaking over this. But I went out with my mom while this happened. I tried to smile and laugh, but I still had to process the fact that my partner passed away. Internally, I was cold and upset, heartbroken that the love of my life chose to end his life, and I wish I cried about it in public but I couldn't. I even planned to visit him this month and try to find gifts for him as much as I can. I gave most of his gifts to Rammy's house in Illinois in hopes that Kimmy can visit her house sometime, but it never happened. Regardless, I'll have to get the gifts back and give some to other people and keep some to myself as memory of him. And I want to find ways to get some of Kimmy's collections in memory of him. I plan on giving all of his Pokemon collection to Rammy and the Um Jammer Lammy stuff and other things to me, but I'm not sure if I'm able to do that quickly. Obviously, Kimmy's mom being such an awful person doesn't know me and doesn't trust Rammy because of her autism. If Mindie comes back, I'll have her number and contact her if she is able to give some of Kimmy's stuff to us. If not, I'm not sure. I might also plan on going to Kimmy's grave with Rammy and my mom and mourn him and give him gifts and stuff.

Kimmy lived with trauma his entire life, but he still did everything for us to make us happy. I never really got to see anything personal of his life, including his face, his drawings, or his room, as he was very secretive about his life, but despite everything, I still loved him dearly. Rammy has known Kimmy for 9 years and became her bestie and adoptive dad, and knowing that Rammy can't handle death, I know the death of Kimmy will be more than hard and devastating for her. I only want to tell her that things will be alright and that Kimmy loves her and means so much to him. But even then, the death of my partner still devastated mentally and emotionally and I understand Rammy's pain. I'll keep his memory in my heart and I'll never forget the moments I had with him. I still remember the times when we talked on January-February 2024 like it was yesterday and I would do anything to have that feeling back, or even bring Kimmy back to our life. But I don't want someone whose suffered life so badly experience more pain and sorrow again. I hope he is resting happily in Heaven with his brother and other mutuals that he lost. I wish the best for Kimmy and I hope to see him someday.

Fly high Kimmy, rest in peace