Dyscalculia, how can you even deal with it? (vent)

FIRST

My psychiatrist seems to agree on me having dyscalculia, but is not able to give out the diagnosis since she's not specialized in it. The only way of getting the official diagnosis for dyscalculia is a very long waitlist and is very pricey, which means that I do not have the privileges of being to be able to attain it. Meaning, I am basically self diagnosing (please do not attack me for this). 

I've struggled with this all my life, it is exhausting and embarrassing, I am tired and losing hope.

I am 17 and I still cannot read the analog clock. Every time I go to the store I have to use a calculator and somehow I still find a way to calculate the end price wrong. When it comes to buying something with change, it is especially embarrassing because I always calculate wrong on how many coins do I have to give the cashier. 

My biggest issue is school. I dropped out at the end of my first year in gymnasium. I had failed in every semesters of math, in all of them. I had a tutor that I would study and relearn with, who I would go to every week. I even could use my math notebook, that I would otherwise regularly use in class, for help in tests. Yet I still understood nothing, I didn't understand anything. Anything that I would learn I would always forget right away.

I really wanna get the education, to go to college in the future but I really feel like I wont be able to and I am so exhausted cause of that. And everyone thinks that I'm lazy, that I don't even try to learn, but I do try, really hard! And then it's also the fact that everyone thinks I'm just an idiot, even I do.

My point is that I'm afraid of in the future having to work a 9 to 5 job that I hate or of having to become a trad wife since I lack education and the math skills of even going to work!

PLEASE share any tips and tricks u have on making life easier when living with dyscalculia