Conversation got me here, another night alone in the city

Speakeasy

Why do you have to talk to me like that? Why can’t it just be easy? Why can’t we be like everyone else? 

Maybe everyone else is like this 

Maybe I’m this vermin that is chewing up the cables of your dream life 

All I know is that those pills don’t counteract our clashing personalities 

And by that I mean the same personalities. That’s what’s wrong. I’m you but I’m angrier and I’m louder and I make it everyone else’s problem 

Don’t talk to me like that 

I forget to forgive, nothing is important 

I’m like a lawyer with the way… (me & you)

I want to give in. I don’t know what I’m fighting but I want to able to give in. I don’t though. I can’t for some reason 

It’s like something is telling me to cling on to the hardwood floors until they’re just splinters 

I need the impossible to be possible tonight, tonight 

I need what I’ve been looking for 

I need to know what I’ve been looking for 

Or I need to stop looking and settle for less 

Settle for a life that is fine but not good 

Jesus, I’m 17 

The moon gets bigger when you fall in love. She’s the goddess of the heart 

She’ll tell you even if you don’t know 

We’re all too small to talk to god 

I want to go to confessional. I need someone who doesn’t know me to give me advice, even if I know what it’s going to be. There’s a Catholic Church in town but they don’t have, like, a proper confessional and I don’t know if they’d even let me in since I’m not catholic. I just need something away from my life to lean on. I’m not religious but I just need something right now and that’s all I can think of 

There’s something wrong with me

I’m your zero

I’m writing a letter to a friend 

I’m putting a lot into it 

I wish I could take my own advice 

I wish I could take the advice of these songs I let consume my life. 

My heart is sick. I can see it. It’s all black and charred from something that happened years ago (or at least she’ll say that’s what it was) it shrunk three sizes that day 

Why can’t I be easier 

Why do I have my guard up 

Why do I stay stood up when I should be falling 

Making mixtapes (mistakes)

Cause no one else will

Gotta keep it together until, until

I want people to stop overreacting 

That goes for me too 

Nobody will though 

That goes for me too 

Hope you’re all ok 

Sending love from your one and lonely