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Category: Writing and Poetry

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i'm gonna post here some things i want to consider as lyrics or poems, idk, i need a place where i can put them, so here it is



04/08/24



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*drinks tea aggressively*

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Hi :)
this was so much fun to read! There are so many memorable lines! I enjoy how you play around with structure in this poem. The ununiform stanzas are really interesting to me. I'm not sure if you made that choice intentionally, and it doesn't matter. But I think this formatting feeds into the overall feeling of this poem. There is this back-and-forth of the speaker's mind, almost a dance that I can see mimicked in the formatting (if that makes sense).

I also love the first four lines in the third stanza!
"two hands
to clench on
sharp glare
sharp tongue"
I just find it exciting to read. Personally, I love couplets and use them in all my writing so it makes me happy to see them used elsewhere!
Repetition is just such a great tool! I feel it makes these lines more intense. Especially the repetition of the harsh t sound.

In the fourth stanza, I found this part particularly cool:
"stealing glance
at his smile
the eyes behind his glasses
futile"
The separation of the last word is just so clever. It really crasts emphasis and contrast. Like there is this fantasy vs. reality throughline and here the two worlds collide. There is romance in the first three lines and instead of continuing it, we are met with reality.

Lastly, I want to touch on the conclusion in the last stanza. I find it so compelling. To me, it reads as giving in for better or for worse. There is acceptance, and then is there compassion with the self? Or is it just tiredness? Or something else entirely? (rhetorical questions don't feel like you have to answer :). I just love that there are multiple readings of the ending and I hope you found it enjoyable to read my interpretation.
Thank you for sharing :)


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OH GOD THANKS YOU A LOT

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