how could i have done this to myself? (as if i don't already know)

don't you dare look at me. don't you dare look at me when i'm like this. petrol is collecting in pools around my putrid body, and i feel every inch of grime that seeps through my pores. i can feel the cysts forming in my digestive tract.

don't you dare look at me. don't you dare look at me when i'm like this. i don't need your eyes on me while my hands fumble, shaking for a handhold in the warm of my flesh. it's just too hot in here. i need to shed a layer.

i feel naked. i am naked. i feel your eyes on me. 

so when i finally find my grip, i look right back at you.

i hope that you are watching me

//not proofread, might edit later