Long coffee orders; Too cliche or too subversive?

Earlier I was at my favorite underground cafe and discovered that rather than my regular barista, there was a new hire. Now anyone who's known me knows that I hate change. And so I was reasonably upset to find that this new hire, bright eyed and bushy tailed, was completely incompetent. Though I don't understand whats so hard about about my order.

I specifically requested a precisely measured double ristretto shot of their finest Arabica espresso beans, meticulously sourced from the verdant highlands of Colombia, to ensure a robust and nuanced flavor profile. For her to incorporate an ample infusion of artisanal caramel syrup, hand-crafted from organic cane sugar and enriched with a delicate hint of sea salt for a sophisticated balance of sweetness and savory notes. For the syrup should be gently folded into the espresso to ensure a harmonious amalgamation of flavors. A base of freshly steamed whole milk, artfully chilled to a pristine, crystalline temperature and then carefully layered over the espresso and caramel mixture. To be elegantly crowned with a generous scoop of meticulously crushed, ice cubes – sourced from purified spring water for optimal clarity and chill. Finally to top it off, a garnish of a delicate caramel drizzle, artistically spiraled atop the beverage, and a subtle dusting of finely ground sea salt to enhance the nuanced layers of flavor. Serve this masterpiece in a clear glass to showcase its sublime aesthetics, accompanied by an eco-friendly, biodegradable straw.

How hard is that to understand, Rebecca? She didn't even let me finish before she started crying. If being a barista is so overwhelming, you should have gotten an easier job. Like a busboy.

-Liam de Lioncourt.