transphobia

this is a RANT. not an essay. 
just my teeny weeny observation as a transman :p
id love to hear other trans experiences im just frustrated rn

there have literally been so many instances i've experience transphobia throughout my life, it's insane. i just started school again and was just rudely reminded of how the outside world perceives me and it's so tiring.
i bind, i voice train, i wear masculine clothes. i do everything "right", i often pass but as soon as people find out im trans suddenly they fuck up? all of a sudden im a she? 
like bro you look SILLY. i literally have a BEARD. 

and what makes me more pissed is people who are passive aggressive about it ya know? like they won't be straight up phobic to you but they'll dance around your pronouns and say backward things like bro!! dont even try to be my friend !! just openly hate me and stop being a snake. 

i literally cannot count how many times ive been in a friend group and suddenly dropped when they realized i was trans. like WHAAAAT. we spent ALL THAT TIME TOGETHER.. and suddenly my penor not aligning with my gender makes you hate me?!?! absolutely BONKERS. 

and like it doesn't end when i get home!! its even weirder online? not only is most queer discourse stupid and just drives the community apart and into cliques, but there are so many unrealistc standards transpeople are held to. 
if you have he/him pronouns in your bio and don't present masculine 24/7, are on t, bind, or show any interest in something feminine your validity as a man is thrown out the window. 

and the amount of pressure transwomen face is ASTRONOMICAL compared to the shit i and other transmascs are held to. like you can literally see it in comments and videos ALL THE TIME. always nitpicking her face or how she dresses, her makeup,  SHUT UPPP!! 

i've seen it from BOTH SIDES. 
transphobes stating that you're "obviously not a man/woman because you like x,y,z" 
and OTHER trans people stating "your not trans because this should make you dysphoric" SHUT UP!!!

There should be NO INSTANCE where you dictate or interpret how someone feels about their gender identity. i dont CARE if it gives the trans community a "bad look" WHO CARES? because at the end of the day people who use "weird" or "fake" trans people as leverage for the entire community will NEVER support a "normal" trans person. Because they dont ACTUALLY care about trans people they just use those examples to dehumanize the commmunity and therefore give themselves a moral highground. 

and not to mention in subcultures?? like what???!?? i see so many alt trans people completely drowned out of certain subcultures BECAUSE they are trans. and its not even an outright hatred for trans people its simply that we are so invisible until its something bad. 
just ARGHH!! BLARRGHH!! GRAAA!!!

for a long time i tried to hide my transness online. i tried to just pass quietly, but i dont really want to anymore! i want to be openly queer and live my queer life LOUDLY. stop saying harmful shit about trans people. because i bet you there is someone in your life hearing you say those things and will not only resent you, but themself.

im soo sick of it all man. 
DONT BE TRANSPHOBIC !!!!!!!!! 
BE A NICE PERSON !!!!!!!!
LEAVE PEOPLE TF ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!