rant(?)

I'm going to start yapping in here because why not.

 remember the fnaf movie? it came out like in the last days of October, if I'm not wrong. I watched it with one of my best friends at the time, let's call them "D". me and this person were extremely close to each other and talked every single day, hung out whenever we could (but not a lot bcs of school and yk all of that),, and over all I thought everything was going puuurrfectly between us. that night was different, to say the least. sure we had fun watching the movie and of course no one talks while watching movies especially in theaters so it was obvious that we wouldn't speak during that time, but after it we just... didn't talk. not even after the movie, not even during the car ride (his parents gave me a ride back home bc the theater was far away from my house). He kept talking to his friend on a discord server which I am in too, btw. half ignoring my messages if not FULLY ignoring them. I didn't point it out ofc because hey maybe he just had nothing to say or something since I didn't too and I'm usually a professional yapper when no one else is talking. a thing I forgot to mention earlier, since D was really busy with his new school we couldn't hang out a lot so this was the first time we've seen each other in weeks. back to the topic, I think that night was one of the main reasons we stopped talking for months. after that we just kind of stopped meeting every weekend and barely even spoke to each other, and when we did it would be only at night or after school; something small like "how did your day go??" or "I got [instert grade] in [insert school subject] today!" yk simple things. we both did bad stuff but I kept feeling guilty about our friendship ending because at one point I didn't text him for a week and he said he felt "unloved" by me, as if I was "losing interest" in him. I tried reassuring him but he just wouldn't listen and he then left me on read. I wrote to him on christmas' day and he replied, then on a random february day with 0 replies. then guess WHAT? early may, he textes me basically saying: "sorry if I didn't reply but I was having a hard time, can we be friends again? ik ur probably mad at me :<" (he didn't exactly phrase it like that, but the first sentence he did say). I was flabbergasted to say the least but I accepted. I couldn't believe it, obviously. I was waiting that moment for months!! ....the aftermath didn't exactly go as planned. the week after he texted me was just us talking to each other about the new things happening in our lives and if we still had each other gift's (which, yes, we do). but after that, it's not the same. I don't think it ever will be.

I never really told him how much it hurted to see him leave like that with no explanation or how much he actually meant to me and I don't think I'll ever tell him how it hurts to see what our friendship has become. our conversations are bland, and he only textes me at midnight if not worse. it's true, I never try to text him during the day but even if I do, there's at least a 6 hour wait. we've grown apart, maybe for the best. who knows.