a random assortment of writings from my notes app

Whether I realised it or not, I’ve been molded within this crucible of love. As steel bends and morphs into a swirling, viscous kaleidoscope, so has my soul. Broken down and now bubbling with desire and intrigue, I was born curious, but now my body has sunk deep within muddy soil. Strangers dip their boots in me and scrape it along the pavement outside their houses. I lie outside worlds and feel the thump of music and conversation. All I can do is imagine intertwining relationships that blossom. I’m a tainted orchid that will never feel the warmth of a house pot, but among this gravel, I find peace.

I no longer wear my headphones at the airport. I sit and watch families say bye to each other. I see old couples sit with one another. I see a flood of love wash in and out of the terminal, like arteries to a heart, connection is what keeps the world pumping and flush.

Infatuation blooms into stone once more 

I remember you telling me once that your ex left you a letter when you broke up, he wrote something along the lines of, “I hope you find God”, which is such an awful way to depart. He had no idea what he was talking about, he never saw you the way I do, he never took the time to really see what was before him. For the space in between us is God. Looking into you, I saw God behind your gaze. Making your way back to bed in the morning with a coffee is a divine act to me, a ritual that puts Mass to shame. Your touch is holy, and a single whisper from your lips rings truer than any Bible ever could. I’d follow you like religion, and devote my flesh to yours, for I found God when I found you. To relate our connection anywhere close to human would be blasphemous. 

TODO: 

Replace bumper beam, (the support is bent) needs replacement. 

Replace radiator 

Replace aircon condenser

Don't miss a lecture 

Finish Demo 37

Clean room 

Record last chorus of Enigma 

If we had met when we were kids, we would have played hide and seek. As your hands cover your eyes, and you count to ten, i'd make loud stomping sounds, like i'm running off, and then shuffle my way behind you (as quietly as possible) What a great tactic!. Others would often bolt straight forward, as hiding right behind someone would be silly. But you would finish counting and look straight behind you. I would feel stupid, but I shouldn't. Deep down, even as children, you would know me.