Superstitious and set up to fail

01/08/24

I’m sorry my blog posts are so long. Once I start I can’t stop. I keep talking until there’s something of some value. I hope there’s something of some value 

Are you there God? It’s me, edie

I don’t believe, I wish I did. 

I keep saying I don’t believe but I keep finding myself praying. I’ll say it’s something else but it’s not. What’s the difference between praying and begging? I’m on my knees for both  

I don’t know what I believe. But we need something to believe in because we can’t believe in people. 

I just need something 

A safety net 

A reminder of childhood 

I’m buying what you’re selling 

I think I must be incredibly naïve, immature and gullible. I’m still a skeptic though.

I’m not a true believer 

There’s something out there 

The truth

I want to believe 

Why do we want to believe? What purpose does it serve? Do we just need to be right? Are we afraid we’re alone? We’re all scared to be alone. I, like others, like to be alone but none of us want that forever. We are social beings. I need something, someone 

My fingers are getting cold, and this is getting old, I need someone to hold, someone to give in to

Wrapped in red ribbon 

I’m already preparing to defend myself 

I don’t like him living in my house. This is not his home. I’m selfish, I don’t care

I am like a wax figure. I’m slowly melting. That’s how they see us. I’m not afraid to get old. Who am I kidding, they’ve made me scared to grow old. Not because of beauty or worth but because what if I’ve done nothing by then. All my inspirations were doing things at this age. I’m sat in my room writing a blog that no one will read. I don’t want to do it alone. I won’t find anyone until I leave school and i don’t know if I’m going to uni (doubt it, it’s too expensive) 

Please, please, please let me get what I want 

(I always preferred the cover) 

(Never) give up and (never) give in 

So, what does all of this mean? 

It means I believe 

I believe in you, I believe in me. Hold fast, brave the storm. Make waves and show the world what you are 

Don’t go down with the ship. Nobody cares about pride. Just survive 

Trying to keep this short and sweet (failed miserably)

Hope you’re ok 

Northern downpour sends it’s love