౨ৎ bunnies

SXIZIDBUNYS BORING LIFE :p 

 ౨ৎ I know the title is misleading but.... this is gonna be my main blog I will update when I remember like a personal journal (thats what most blogs are for) except not TOO personal!!! maybe... 

     I will start this soon when my first day of sophomore year starts since I have nothing to talk about since its still summer break for me unless... 

I'm most likely gonna use code names or not I don't knowwww!!! (I did not 

<<Aug 17, 2024>>

       I started school Aug 9th so far ITS HORRIBLE. School is the top most horrible shit to ever be invented... well the reasons it was made are reasonable but its the way people act and treat each other, who tf in their mind thought it was a good fucking idea to put hella insecure jelous horny teenagers in one building?!?! I mean im not sure how but there has to be a different way of schooling that can be done to prevent all this retarded drama. NAHHHH ITS THE KIDS PARENTS FAULT!! LIKE BICTH FUCKING TEACH UR KIDS HOW TO FUCKING ACT. i just hate everyone in it like god fuck. 

I have class with this one guy I had past experience with and golly man I hate seeing him worst part HE AINT EVEN CUTE!?!! Can't blame me bro its my school there's no good looking people there except for jumping beans, and blacks. and a couple whites and Russians and germans.. there's on German he's pretty cute ngllll but he's like a senior now I believe? IDFK but my emo ass doesn't stand a chance anyway :p 

OH AND my classes are all okay ig but I swear this year the teachers just went straight into work and projects like GEEZ CALM UR TITS BRO?!? I am all missing so much work and like idk I am trying and paying attention just to fucking unmotivated... :( I know that's not an excuse but god I just wanna rot and curl up and die school stresses me out so much I wish I could just do online school without having to deal with all the social stuff about school like I swear, but my retarded ass would NOT pay attention actually... I think since quarantine I've deffenitly matured 100% more to the point I would cause I now know what my priorties should be I mean I know I value other stuff more than school but I deffintley like idk... 

OH ALSOOOO Im leaving "TCC" like idk the community is so ass now and its not even about just being interested in it like now its just full of teenage girls idolizing and wanting to rub cooches with them. Im aware its always been kinda like that but its getting worse yk!?! I mean if im being honest in the beginning of my tcc shit I was deffintley like being stupid and being all like "chat he's kinda cute" which like cure some can be but don't make the reason why ur in the community just because you think of them like romantically like especially because they were genuine horrible people sure they have a history nd reasons but idk man... its just too much for me so I decided I should just peace tf out im still open to having people from the community as friends and stuff and im still very much interested in it but it won't be as extreme?!? (update.. I didn't fully leave I toned it down tho made it less obvious irl and stuff like yk im still a any true crime movie or show whore and very much still into the topic) 

but yeah guys that's the rant for today ill try to update more :3

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<Aug 25 2024>> 

^math rock is genuinely fire brah^ 

       IM SOO BOREDDDD I HATE SCHOOL ITS SUNDAYYYYYY!!!! *sob* 

There's nothing to do in my shitty ass apartment goddddddd!!!! I hope someone in my school gets monkey pox spreads it to 3 other people and then it shuts down again just like covid because I rather would have online again than this shitty ass boring days that's gonna keep going till im 18 and out of fucking high school. Life is so shit and boring it genuinley has no fucking point unless ur a fucking genius and actually has a future instead of an emo fatherless untalented whore!!!! all I do everyday is

wake up at like 6:30-7am get ready either take a bus if im done getting ready early or ask my mom to take me. I get to school wait inmy 1st period till the bell rings for school to start in that class I have a friend thank god and shes in two of my other classes, after that class I go to my 2nd period I see the guy im still stuck up on because I genuinely liked him and feel like caca as the teacher yaps (in that class I have like 4 missing assignments already sit the third fuvking week GODDDD) and then lunch if im lucky my friend Noni will be hanging out with me and we just walk the halls or go to a classroom since im scared of going to the cafeteria that's outside since I am in California. then homeroom its fine its wtv. third period its chill ig the teachers nice but he makes us put our phones ij a bin and bitch im a fucking fein for my phone but fourth its so fucking cold in there I sit there quietly and the guys that sit in the table with me are saying stupid jokes that are not funny just fucking homophobic since my teacher is nonbinary. Then after that period the bell rings for us to leave school (we only have two class periods lunch and homeroom the classes are so fucking long) when I leave school I try to avoid everyone I don't like if I see one ill walk slow and stay behind till they leave. I take a bus home, either the long way or the short way depends on how bad I wanna go home, I get home bed rot hit the Nic at least 100+ times till I sleep, scroll on reels (@g0onerbong36 *WINK*) wait a long time for my BEAUTIFUL MAN TEXTS ME :33!! (he lives nowhere near me he's 5 hrs away but trust guys... sighhh) he's so cutie but he like has white a following on TT and it makes me a little jelly that other girls be saying stuff but like I genuinely cannot be mad because like hoe what? you aren't even dating so yk I try to not be so fucking bothered by it it only like 1/100 times makes me wanna yell into my pillow. BUT YEAH GOD I HATE MY BORING ASS LIFE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE IT NOT BORING DUDE... 

SIGH... I feel stupid for typing this since no one is ever gonna read it but its nice to pretend like when we used to pretend we were vloggers yeah, so ugh man what the freak... 

ALSO I didn't realize how hard it is to leave tcc because all the mutals you've connected with and stuff and the topic still gets me a little giddy cuz it was a genuine interest and not like a form of me wanting to be edgy even tho I can admit at the very very very beginning it was kinda that but EUGHHHH... but I still love the topic of horrible shit so intrueging, that's why I also love the show Dexter sooooo much its so good. so so so so so so so so so soossoososoososooooo good.... My eyes hurt im tired but I can't sleep. 

                                      "I feel like P Diddy with fur"

That's honestly all I have to say for today actually im fucking sick again I have two big ass cranker sores and an another one that is getting bigger  and I hate theme I get them a lot due to my low white blood cells ( I have neropenia or some shit) 

I hate getting theses ores but they won't go away and I don't eat so ic ant take my antibiotics it hurts so much ima piss myself dude. 

UGHHHHHH Sxizidbuny OUTTTTT 

EDIT: MY MOM SAID IM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TMR LETS FRICKEN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<< Sep 1st 2024 >>

       HAIII!!!

   I haven't slept yet and im waiting for my mom and aunt to wake up so we can go to the thrift, im in AZ atm and the thrifts are actually good here I put my makeup on so I can't take a nap so im just gonna watch a bit of dexter till they wake up hopefully they don't wake up late because I really want to go to the thrift we were supposed to go yesterday but I was the one that didn't waken *SIGHHH* 

I feel like my page is so boring again but I have ZERO (day) idea what to add like it just feels like something is missing like I wish I could add more interactive things those make me so happy like a lot. Im not sure what to talk about I just felt like typing.... uhhhh.............................................................................................................. I mean ill give a haul maybe if I find anything really good and awesome!!!! My aunts cat scratched me so badly her name is negra... like a black woman in Spanish, shes gray with some black?!?! IDK!?!?!? My aunt used to have a white cat named tampon. im kinda thirsty... ugh

OMG I FORGOT I HAVE SCHOOL ON TUESDAY AGAIN BRO!!! I HATE SCHOOL I HAVE TO REPEAT IT SO MUCH LIKE I GENUINLY HATE IT SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOO MUCH BRO OMGGGG... all my teachers are so ass actually my chemistry teacher is cool but he takes our phones away </3 Im a fein for my bitch ass phone ngl I have very addictive tendencies I don't even smoke weed a lot I've only gotten high 5 times and I always just have a slight raving for it. Im also a huge Nic addict which uhm idk how long it will take me to go clean from that I genuinely start tweaking!!! 

OH I was gonna write about this but I never did this is some past stuff but it bothers me so much, I was in this horrible friend group during freshman year. like really bad, to sum it up they were manipulative, Neo n@zis, they force fed me snails, held a knife to my throat, threw me around, blah blah they beet up a homeless man.. they were juniors 

but in this group there were two other guys in my grade, one which is the one I had a thing with before they cut me off in a weird ass way... lets call himmmmmm... anteater me and him we one day we went to guitar center then I went to his house and then we hung out ten the next day I went to his house again to do homework but we ended up taking an edible making out and he played guitar for me and dudenik it sounds corny asf but HES SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT LIKE IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I forgot what song it was don't even ask... but then I got grounded because my mom found I was high but the next day I still went to his house and then made out again and then days later that friend group cut me off and cried to him and then I got in trouble and my mom went through my phone so before she could do that I deleted everything and like... I never talked to him ever again.. I still like him even tho he's ugly asf.. and he wasn't into me like that he just wanted to make out with me but nothing real, god boys are so ass... but I have a class with him and it makes me feel so uncomfortable like bro saw my melons :< 

but uh anyway im watching dexter as I type and im like where him and Lila are getting close and omfg I hate it like poor Rita... shes so nice and stuff and dexters being an ass emotionally and just cheating in general like what the freak man I know you don't have empathy and you kill people but ima fight dexter. like I wish they could've like made Lilia the love interest to begin with or something idk ugh I hate when shows do this. anyways im getting bored of typing so ima leave and maybe yap more later :P

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<< Sep 3 2024 >>

      Lil face rev :3 

my hair is red but you can't see it because of the black and white filter I have on  :P

IM IN CALI AGAIN!!!! I had to go to school today but I got so anxious this morning I threw up again so I didn't go, BUTTT I have to go tomorrow!!! D:

I wanna have a Tumblr again but Tumblr gives me such a weird feeling in my stomach but I liked all the photography and shit but my old Tumblr is the reason why so many people hate me because I was on tcc Tumblr and it was a lot... I was also on slf mutilation and like uhhhhhh I used to be such a bad person due to the people I surrounded myself with I don't have much to talk about I just wanted to do a lil face reveal 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<< Sep 15 2024 >>

ARGHHHAGHAGHAGAHAAHA ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS BRADY BRADY BRADY BRADYYYY BRADY BRADY BRADER TOT PISS BOY BRADY UGHHHHHH BRADY THIS BRADY THAT AWE I LOVE YOU BRADYYYYY.... GET OUT OF MY HEADDDDDD I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE LIKING PEOPLE IS LOWK GROSS!!!! ughhhhh!!!! I CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT........

BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. BRADY. ..............brady. brady. brady. brady........ brady???........

 his name started looking weird stop *sigh*  :<                            

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<sep 17 2024>>

Life feels so odd recently every school in my area has a threat and like im sure nothing is gonna happen but I get so paranoid easily I fell asleep at 9 am today I couldn't sleep last night at all and my mom saw how anxious I was and out me stay home even though she was originally forcing me to go (she wants me to die//j)  I know im sxizidal but like im kinda content with my friendships plus brady makes me happy :333333

BUT I HAVE TO GO TMRRRR and other than the threats I just fuckig HATEEEEEEEE school so much. 

I wnet to therapy today and my next session is my last so ia graduate therapy (for the third time) but im still gonna be in a teen therapy group maybe which im a little scared for anyway... uh idk what to talk about now im just really bored I wanna add stuff to my profile but I don't know what I need more interactive things on SpaceHey NOWWWWWW  

anyways... p0rn is awesome right guys!!! tsp im not an add1ct...  maybe... im joking geezzzzzzz!!! god someone fight me and put me out of my misery. all I do everyday is wake up go to school or brain rot in bed if its a weekend and watch dexter hit the Nic at least 7000000 times a day (I need to try to quit) and uhhh... listen to music yes yes and.. rot I just rot im dead atp... ugh I fucking hate how I write in this just for no one to see IM A NARCISST PLS GUYSSSS!!!! at least im aware?! right. RIGHTTTTTT..... ehehvhygrugt4gvtv4go4ot6gyufhirdigutrbehdytregybhwedyrweuy3yrtoq63tqwbpT23B4YP732B4Y3VWB43VGYFGHJBFVFGFGFGGGFGFGPPPOOPOOCACA KYS 

I like my new bunny suit, I like my new bunny Suit, I like my new bunny suit when I wear it I feel cute! 

OHHHH I rewatched the crow and forgot how much I love it best soundtrack in my opinion LIKE GOLGOTHA TENEMENT BLUES BY MATCHINE OF LOVING GRACE *drooooolllllllll* I genuinely want to NUT. ima be the crow for halloween but like girl yk what I mean jelly bean. anyways I think that's it for today BYE BYEEEE :3 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<OCT 14>>

im back from the dead!!! (bro is NOT the Eric Draven)

anywhooo me and Brady are going very awesome its so like UGH idk I love him but uh anyway... I have glasses now OMG BRO this random guy on the bus thought I ws cute so he found my @ on insta (gooncoononyablock36 I got banned AGAIN.) I get banned a lot but yeah he wanted to hang out today but he's so bithcy I told him ima need to cancel because I had an appointment and he was like "wtv Bye." like girl stfu no because two weeks ago he was like "ur too suzidal I can't do that" and then yesterday he was like "I wanna give it a shot" like make ur fucking mind up but its wtv because I have Brady and he's so much more awesome and cute and he actually knows how to communicate unlike that dumbass hoe. ON THE FIRST DAY. he was talking about how he had just broken up with his ex and was still trying to get over it like brooks I do not wanna be a rebound. anyways on a happier note my English teacher they said they really loved my essay It was about the hero's journey and I wrote about the crown and why he should be considered a hero since my mom disagreed with and so did my teacher but I made him change his mind after he read my essay and that's why he really liked it and he liked my way of writing too he said I was collage level I WAS SO JOLLYYYYY but this guy was mad because he announced to the class that I had the best intro paragraph the he used to be the best one before I showed him mine he gave me the dirtiest look ever like brooks calm ur tatas.... anyways uhhhh im really bored I greened tf out last Thursday it was really scary and I hated it do not let me hit 4 blinks ever again pls. 

the cure is so awesome their new singles are so MWAH I love them the cure will always be better than the smiths (I still love the smiths I can not lie) I wish I had a favorite band but I simply do not it truly heart breaking and gay (no offense I love gay ppl im omni guys) uhh yuhhh idk what else to say I feel like yapping but I have nothing to yap about anymore because my life is so ass and boring and caca 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......... OH turns out my last therapy session is not the last MY NEXT one is but ima start teen group therapy after

SENPAI! you.. you can't eat all the skibidi slicers-  ;-; 

bro kill me now. 

did anyone actually enjoy the virgins suizide? like I feel like the feel of it was good but hone. you really think about it the movie itself was not that awesome I feel like it could've executed better? 

idk maybe im sped. 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<oct 25 2024>> 

     Hai guys im gonna crash out I wanna see Brady so baddd but were like long distance which is so ass its 5-6 HRS ARGAHAHAGAGA and omfg im so sad for no reason now like I don't know I relapsed recently cuz im stupid and idk... I just feel so shit Im always tired like all the Time I just want to be happy and my meds aren't working im binging like a mf and I had just recently lost a lot of weight just to gain it all back I hate this I fucking hate it so much I fucking hate everything. 

I don't know how to feel about anything anymore anteater and this girl have been talking a lot and I think they like ecgother and this is stupid since I like Brady a lot but I get jealous, I don't think its that I LIKE him I think its more that I don't think I meant anything like after we stopped talking I was just nothing to him I don't think I ever cross his mind like ever god im a horrible person what if I do still like him!??! bro this shit is so stupid its fucking stupid its the stupidest shit ever I wish I didn't have feeling I wish I wasn't real I wish I was just in a fucking movie I hope when I die curtains will fall or end credits will roll I hope this is a hyper realistic dream and every time I sleep I awake in another universe that's all better and my whole existence is a dream for that person a very horrid dream. GODDDDDD I find it hard too feel genuine joy throughout my day sorry to be corny but I genuinely feel like I force myself to be happy so the people around me don't feel concerned like my mom... also ugh I relapsed because most people I knew were doing it and it just gave me the urge to do it so I fucking did im just... a retard that's all ill ever be. 

I don't think my goals in life will ever happen I have never had goals done in the past years I just I suck yk? im not good at anything im not creative all my drawings and paintings are the same and I blame that on having very obsessive and addicting behavior I recently realized how easily I get addicted to things like nicotine since the first time I tried it BOOM addicted and I can't stop I don't smoke weed a lot but I get cravings for it when I draw a drawing I like once ill draw it over and over and over and over and over again again and again. I get obsessed with people too if I like someone or enjoy being around with someone that's all I wanna do im like a leach I wish I was normal I have no idea what's wrong with me. 

I just can't wait till im finally with Brady he's such a good person and he has goals he has a really good mindset and when he's upset he handles it well or at least from what I can see I don't know he's just... I admire him so much and he's so cute and I just UGHHHHH I just don't see what he sees in me I mean im sure its only bc he sees what I want him to see but I think once he actually gets too know me In a deeper level he'd hate me so much. I just feel it yk especially because he makes me happy and nothing that satisfies me and makes me jolly and want to live ever last. Im horrible at keeping people around they always leave when I get too invested. I feel like im just such an annoying person im sure if ur reading this you'd be able to tell. 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<Oct 29 2024>>

right now its 4:05 am I just showered and redid my hair. I woke up at 11 because I feel asleep at like 5pm yesterday. GODDD yesterday (oct 28) was horrid. 

I woke up dreading to go to school in 1st I started crying one of the TA noticed I went to talk to my counselor he got mad at me because I was somewhat making up excuses and I started crying more and more and more it was bad but then he walked me to the wellness center and I just sat there for all of 1st and second period so like... almost 2 hrs I colored tried to do some work hmmmm then it was lunch my so so friend was pissing me off we got lunch and I was feeling sensitive and I forgot exactly what he said but it was a remark towards me eating so it made me feel fat so I threw my food away we went into a classroom and I started crying again in advisory I started feeling better and then second period my counselor brought me out and we walked around the campus he was telling me I was very smart and he liked my art and he wants to put me in honors and blah blah some other stuff so I can get scholarships and stuff and then 4th period I was talking a lot like I kept vollunteering to talk I got a lot of extra credit. we were talking about who we trust and why and then also the art of manipulation/pusuation since were gonna do a whole semester on debates. I think the reason I was crying is because of of my friends isn't my friend anymore because I was just trying to communicate that I didn't appreciate him always calling me annoying and I didn't care If it was a joke it got really in my head but he was annoyed and said I was being dramatic like he's such a retard I hate him god. 

I went home after that and I tried to tell my mom Igot extra credit in English and she was like "I know you're good in that class what matters more is ur grade in history" that made me sad again so I left to my room and cried. my mom only focuses on the negative stuff about me and I hate it I fucking hate it. I love my mom since shes my provider but she doesn't care about the stuff im proud of like ill show her a new painting she glances at it and just says "that's nice" or some other bullshit. I just fell asleep at that point. 

anyways when I woke up today at 11 or 12 I was texting Brady now I don't know if this is just because he was tired but I was like "I love you so muchhhh" and he was like "I love you too" like woah... he usually says he loves me most or sum maybe im overthinking it but what if he's getting annoyed of me? IDKKKK im scared I genuinely like him a lot. like a lot. maybe a little too much... like a lot lot lot... ugh shoot me now!!!! 

I feel so out of it im so... disassociated, disassociation is one of my biggest warning signs im probably gonna have to bring that up to my school therapist when I go to school later. 

ima go rest a little im hella sore I went to ride horses on Sunday. it was quite crazy but ill tell that story later today after school or maybe tmr or whenever. 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<Nov 4, 24>>

                                                     me ->>

    On nov 1st Brady told me he only wants to be friends I cvt again I feel stupid. I talk to him daily still which doesn't help we talk as normal but less coupely. he's confusing tho I can't tell if he doesn't like me anymore or if he's iffy about it since the distance ima go see him still during thanks giving break hopefully tho idk...

I feel pathetic but I genuinely can't anymore he meant a lot to me he was and always will be the best person I've talked to like he's the sweetest and like he's not a racist or a homophobic which is the bare minimum but everyone ive talked to was racist and homophobic it was so fucking annoying like he didn't freakout when I told him I also like girls like I love him brah and he's just really fricken cool his music taste is the best ever and I wanna suckle his toes (JOKE... (maybe)) but idk hopefully the spark comeback idk I know its corny shut up god... you can't express ur feelings and not be corny like its just human nature trust brah. but other than that I FUCKING HATE MY SECOND PERIOD SO MUCH I HATE THAT STUPID ASS HISTORY CLASS!!! my teachers pacing is too fast for me and I hate it ima actually go insane. ugh idk what else to yap my dick off about... 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ

<<jan 4, 2025>> 

HAPPY NEW YEARS GUYS!!

I know I haven't written in so long but uhm I've just been so out of it but update... I still talk to Brady were all good now but the girl he left me for ghosted him and she was a total goober (his words not mine) but I have new guy named chris he's the sweetest we talk everyday for HOURS and we hung out and went to Hollywood and he got me cds he gifted me two cassettes and electric wizard CD and in holly wood he spoiled me :3 

he bought me 5(?) cds and shizzles im hanging out with him Sunday hopefully? and yeah he's so sweet but... he is also just a very hateful person yk what I mean (very racist and hates only gays and tans) *sigh*... but like idk other than that he's so nice but uh yeah I like him but there's also... Zach... who I have strong feelings for bc we had a whole thing going on but he left for a couple weeks and blocked me according to hm its because his ex told him to and he listened it was such a shit time for me but he's back and just as sweet as he used to and the thing is he's the complete opposite of chris but I still like both and I still somewhat have feelings for Brady and that's why im not gonna get into relationship ANY TIME SOON. till I get my shit figured out bc wtf is wrong with me im so poopoo uhm but yeah other than that its been fine im just live laugh loving, EXCEPT... school starts Monday and they're enforcing that no phones policy which is actually gonna be the death of me ima KILL my selfzies bc I can't roam school without headphones I will get overstimulated by the sound and tweak the fuck out sighhh idk how I can get around it tho bc like ugh idkkkkk??????? 

ima tweak out tho I just know it can't wait for the many panic attacks coming up!! I have gym too?!?! gym with no music... crazy work actually. But uhm hopefully I write more again though no one will ever see this shit... 

-suizidbuny ౨ৎ