Just some stuff that’s been going on in my life

I almost quit debate yesterday because I was so awful during the practice session from the night before. I told me English teacher about it and she said I shouldn’t because I had “potential”, whatever that means…and she asked a Form 5 senior student to give me tips on the whole thing. The girl sent me all the resources she was talking about earlier that day after school. She’s really nice. I’m Form 4 meaning I’ll be replacing her year group next year which is surreal to me. I’ll be the oldest year group in the entire school and yet I’ll still feel like I need some older mentor of some sort. Since my school is so small I’m friends with people from a lot of the younger year groups and they treat me like an equal rather than a senior student they should bow down to or something, that was a rather strange concept to begin with anyway. I can understand wanting respect but to act above others just because your a few years older is a bit silly in most situations. 

Oh yeah that same senior student who helped me told me she’s only heard good things about me, not exactly sure by that since I didn’t think she even acknowledged my existence much until that moment. Coincidentally my debate teacher said she was one of the students to help and guide all the debaters at school today regarding on how to make a script and etc so I guess I’ll be talking to her again very soon.

Y’know I’ve always thought of myself as that “good kid” or atleast believe that that’s how some teachers sort of view me. They view me in a way where they believe I have so much more to offer than what I already have, in a way where they couldn’t imagine me doing anything so wrong to break any major school rules or cause a scene because they aren’t wrong. I couldn’t do that even if I imagine it a lot more than I should because if I did then all I had before would go down the drain completely. 

Idk, just a few random thoughts I had to dump this morning before going to school