TW: Irrational Food Quilt

I’ve lost 93 pounds since February from being in a calorie-less starving spree. I recently started counting calories again and I upped my intake to 1,555kcal a day because (of course) I was having bad malnutrition symptoms that I couldn’t afford to have in my current living situation. I was eating so little for so long that I’m now in a weight loss plateau because my body isn’t used to eating a normal amount to lose weight anymore.

The plateau should last around 1-3 months, I’m assuming. The fact that im eating in a calorie deficit for WEEKS with zero pay off is stressful enough, but it’s even more stressful when I’ve been in a calorie deficit for weeks and I weigh 4lb more one the scale. Granted, there’s no way it’s fat, it have to be water weight. Probably about to start my period or something.

All of that, JUST to say that the stress is finally getting to me tonight. Afraid I was gonna binge, so at 12:30AM I ate like half a cup of ice cream and one cookie. That’s it. That’s all I ate, and I’m satisfied… I’m having a cheat day today when I wake up just so that I don’t binge. Despite how little I ate, probably only like 280kcal, I feel extremely quilty. SO fucking guilty… but I know I just need to ignore these feelings and let myself indulge. I’m not gonna gain fat from one cheat day out of 2 weeks of being in a calorie deficit.