Today - 7/27/2024

Today sucked pretty bad. My friend, We'll call them Hatz, Invited me to go to the carnival/fair that's going on a few streets away from our homes. Obviously I wanted to have fun with them, Even if I couldn't pay for tickets or a pass to go on rides, But one of my others friends, We'll call them Koe, Couldn't make it. I was bummed (still am) since I haven't seen Koe for a LONG time. So the day started off bad with that, and Then Hatz said that one of their friends was going to come and hangout. SO I was chill and okay with it but it was somone they bad-mouthed to me, and also this person had faked tourettes multiple times, so i don't like them. So Hatz and the person (Call them Jip) ditched me and Hatz little cousin (Tsu). They didn't tell us they were going to go on rides either, since they got a pass. They just up and left. So I got upset about it. Eventually I see some of my other friends and talked with them a bit before they left and Hatz finally came back to me and Tsu, Except Tsu and I had moved to shade since it was boiling hot. They came over and started to complain and kept saying stuff like "I wish my friends were here so we could go on rides" As if I'm not a friend to them. This continued on and on and eventually I got enough of it and was about to leave when one of my friends from earleir (Riah) gave me some tickets since they were leaving. I gratefully took them, but I really wanted to leave. As soon as I got them Hatz was all in my face and asking what I wanted to do but I just wanted to leave. So I gave them the tickets and they INSTANTLY gave them to Tsu. I wouldn't mind if they werent so desperate for it, especially since it was only 3 tickets. So they said bye and I said bye back before leaving since they instantly went to a ride. I was really bummed out by this point and just on edge, not to mention my social anxiety going through the roof. I had to go back to Hatz house to grab my pants since I was borrowing some of theirs so I wouldn't bleed through my light blue jeans (Period problems), And everytime I had to cross the street I just couldn't handle it while there were driving cars around so I waited until it was empty to cross. I'm about halfway to Hatz house before my sister called me and asked if I wanted a ride. I was upset at her for something earlier so I didn't really want to talk to her. I told her if she wanted to get me she could but I just needed to change my pants. She said no and hung up for some reason and since I was already about to cry it jsut made thigns worse. I eventually change into my pants and leave Hatz house and walk home. As I mentioned, Its really hot outside. So I felt nauseous and like I was going to pass out. I make it to my house to find out my whole family (who lives with me) is at the house and only my sister offered me a ride, and they never even told me they were coming home. So more stuff to add onto the pile. -- One thing I forgot to mention before I left Hatz and Tsu, I went to my dad's booth at the fair (since we have a small business) and asked if I could get some food. He recommended a corndog cart and gave me 20$ to go get one, but I have horrible social anxiety and sob at even standing there by myself. So my sister comes with me and she told me to talk to the person by myself (Tears were forming in my eyes as is) so after about 15 minutes of standing around I turn and leave back to my dads booth, giving him the money and announcing that i'll jsut eat at home. I'm home now and haven't eaten anything yet. I'll find something soon, though :) 

So today sucked, maybe tomorrow will be better!